pillow pants, water broad and jan hammer
since i only work 6 days a week and have all the free time in the world on my hands, i saw 3 movies in 3 consecutive nights this week. here’s a rundown:
 Clerks II - i was expecting something more along the lines of jay and silent bob strike back, with an even greater air of desperation. which i was totally ok with, so when this movie far surpassed my expectations (which it shall be proven that these are indeed at an all time low and i’ve gotten quite easy to please) it kind of made me stoked on kevin smith all over again. it’s a stupid movie so i don’t need to give you a rundown, but there are some magical moments involving vagina gnomes, racism, donkey shows, silence of the lambs tributes, and jason lee.
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Lady in the Water - (aka waterbroad, poop in the pool). we were laughing at this movie 3 minutes in and it never got any better. when we write, direct and star in a movie that you know is a piece of shit that people will laugh at, making your other lead character have a forced speech impediment is just not a wise move. also, when making a fantasy or fairy tale story, it helps if the story is even remotely interesting. a girl that lives in a room under your pool who has to risk her life just to lay eyes on someone so that they will be filled with the purpose of writing a book to save the world, only to then have to wait around for a giant eagle to pick you up and take you, well, somewhere, just doesn’t cut it.
 Miami Vice - would have been better if there were more explosions and less bad bad BAD love scenes. apparently crockett and tubbs are ex-cons since they prefer their lovin in the shower when their ladies sneak up on them from behind. i guess it comes with the territory of being deep undercover. the movie looked amazing, i was skeptical of the digital aspect of it but it jumps back and forth from handheld grainy shots to these epic, sweeping shots with fantastic color. don’t get me wrong, it’s no award winner, but considering it’s immense potential for disaster it came out clean. florida in general still sucks, but not as much as water broad. way to go m knight, you suck worse than florida.
If you work 6 days a week, how do you have an abundance of free time? Welcome to The Dollhouse is playing at the theater up the way from me tonight. Now that is a movie.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welcome_to_the_Dollhouse
Narf.
Maybe he’s a big “Pinky and the Brain” fan?
Waterbroad is the best title for a movie ever. Miami vice though? I acceepted it when you said you loved kevin smith all over again becuase (much like roulette) occasionally when i think of kevin smith I think: “who is driving… Bear is driving? how can this be?!?!?!?!” but Jamie Foxx?
He spells his name with two XX’s. How can THAT be?
update. my gay boss calls it “albino in the pond”