Helio ate my balls.
Last month everytime I answered my phone undoubtably the person would ask where the F**k I was cause it sounded like it was a 3rd dimention. My sony ericsson phone just wasn’t cutting it anymore. The kind people at cingular kept reoranging my account so I was paying more for less options. I desperately needed a new phone, I wanted a new carrier and just wanted to go with something new. While hearing wind that Helio is most likely going to be coupled with the new iphone from Apple and it had its own service, I was enticed. I got a new phone and then the problems just started to roll from there. I don’t think I blame the company, but I do blame them for hiring, BROS. Yes, every-time I call there, it isn’t the nice southern woman, it is the dude in india, it is a Bro from Huntington Beach with pussy on his breath.
Call #1. The Bro sets up my phone with a new number, too LAZY to call Cingular to set it up. Thus left with a new number. When I called Cingular to tell them to stop being assholes, they told me no one ever requested the new number. BROS ARE LAZY.
Call #2. I call cause the new phone, which is a piece of shit, stopped turning on after 4 days of use. The very different BRO, but still could hear the rapist in his voice said, after a long pause…”What did you do to it?” In a locker room accusatory jock sorta way. The guy had a lot of tricks up his sleeve on how to fix it.
Trick #1. “Try to turn it on. ”
I say, “Yeah, that didn’t work”
Trick #2. “Take the battery off and try to turn it on”
I say, “You’re obviously a Genius”
To which he says, “Yeah………..I’ll send you a new phone”
I asked, “Will it be as shitty as this phone?” To which he replied, “You know it bro.”
Don’t call it a phone, don’t call it a culture machine, call it…..The Bro Phone.
