MAD EX MOVIE REVIEW: CRANK CRANK CRANK
First, get up and go see this movie, then come back and read this review.
If not take a deep breath and read this fast and as crazy as possible.
CRANK RECIPE:
1 BUMPS
1 MAD EX
2 VODKA RED BULLS
1 CAST OF JACK ASS IN THE BAR
2 SEATS CENTER ROW
2 STEVEN SEAGAL POWER DRINKS
2 HANSEN ENERGY DRINKS
1 REGULAR POP CORN
1 HUGE FUCKING BAG OF PLAIN M&MS
NO BATHROOM BREAKS
This review will have NO periods if a period was used it would kill the review Atari hearts will beat with sonic sound will beat your ears while you wake up naked in a room best movie this summer with a dvd that says fuck you on it then a mexican will be bald and tell james bond style that you that you are now crazy and you are going to die with chinese Metal Health – Quiet Riot shit in your blood and you will lose your shit you will go kill people drink Rock-Star energy drink and eat Doritos and hail taxis go run around in a medical gown call your girl friend who drives a yellow rabbit who won’t by a cell phone and fuck her New Noise – Refused in front of young girls while cutting off hands of faggots Bring Us Bullets – Rocket from the Crypt and using VOTE for pedro as a human shield while he dances for tacos across the street from a horny pigeon who likes girls asses Trix Are For Kids – The Crowd tits tits boobies going 80 road head dwight yokham has a dent in his forehead I Kill People girls in bubbles best movie this summer chinese men with gun like your raging hard ons that are magnum size Kill All the White Man – NOFX go see this movie go see this movie go see this movie go see this movie go see this movie then electrocute yourself and stand on your motorcycle naked and run to American Apparel and eat your girls friends birth control and throw people off buildings be sure that Pedro can go to Club BANG in Hollywood and pay full price and dance on the boxes and show his belly with pride live downtown go to beverly hill beat some black ass and sniff coke off the ground AMY SMART is the best actress ever and now I will watch SMITH on CBS soon best movie this summer and fly really high super high above Los Angeles the guy from always sunny in philadelphia will give you epinephrin and use your cell phone and put your cell phone in your socks and use freeze frames and cut peoples in two go see this movie go see this movie go see this movie go see this movie go see this movie go see this movie go see this movie best movie this summer i can’t say anymore great things about this movie my heart will explode just as it almost did when i was taking a pee after the movie and some dude tried to talk about the movie with me and said it was the fucking best movie he has ever seen and wanted to see it again all this was said while pee was coming out his dick bumps and I had to run away and run away fast I drove home fast. DEAD.
5 madex’s out of 5
Would Teddy hump him out? YES
No related posts.
All of the above is 100% true.
Everything you know about bad movies has been changed forever. Big Blue Shark? fuck it. Tripple X? Fuck it.
As far as I am concerned, this is the only movie that exists. Everything else is bullshit.
rats, i totally wanted to see this with the gang.
no bathroom breaks is kind of a lie. i took one and when i came back there was straight porno humping on the screen.
I just read a review that said this about crank:
“While most action flicks these days require their audience to turn their brains off, this movie somehow actually does it for you. Whatever few critical synapses you have left will likely be kept busy asking questions like: Why did the Head Bad Guy’s hideout contain a number of smiling bikini girls encased in giant plastic hamster balls? Was there really a nature clip of humping turtles being projected on the ceiling of that hotel bathroom?”
that’s because you and your lady live in a giant bubble.
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[...] No one told me how awesome this movie was, I am only half way through this movie as I write this, but I haven’t been this entertained since CRANK. This modern day, seedy Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd action shoot ‘em up thriller is one fun watch. Its all action and all one liners with lactating hookers. [...]
[...] action too fast to follow. And if anyone follows my reviews, I love too fast to follow, (see: Crank). Daniel Craig is an excellent Bond, he’ll carry the franchise far, but they really need to [...]