Deep Blue Sea

If the thought of a shark encounter doesn’t get your heart racing, imagine a run-in with a genetically enhanced one! As part of her research on brain-tissue regeneration, Dr. Susan McAlester (Saffron Burrows) alters the DNA of a number of sharks, giving them near-human intelligence. While she and her crew work at their underwater facility, the sharks grow resentful of their captivity and start using their new capabilities to their own advantage. Like ripping them to shreds.

We like to call this film; BIG BLUE SHARK and holds on of Samuel L. Jackon’s Finest performances. I highly recommend this movie.

Till this day any movie that looks craptastic with a big budget I still call it  BIG BLUE ______.

Don’t buy my favorite cookies and leave them on the counter.

I licked one. I walked away. I came back.

I ate it, I went to bed, I woke up, I pee’d, I ate another.

Mothers stale frosted oatmeal cookies are like crack.

Thanks, Your roommate.

PS. I saw all the ice cream you bought, what the fuck is your problem?

Weight:222
Why I am doing this: because I have had a gut my entire life…and I want to be in a commercial with John Basedow
How I will lose weight: My lifelong love affair with fast food must end. 9 out of 10 times, I would rather eat Taco Bell on my lap while driving than go to a classy restaurant….and run and ride my bike and go to the gym.
Helpful Hint: HOSTESS 100 CALORIE CUPCAKE PACKS

Dear Carole,

We’ve been hanging out for what seems like forever. I know that you love me, but there has been a problem that I have been meaning to talk to you about for a long time. You don’t love all of me. You seem to only want to hang out with me when I’m a donut or a cheese sandwich. I am so much more than that. You totally ignore the better parts of me, like the vegetables and whole grains. I am capable of being a complete diet and you hold me back from my full potential. So, I’m sorry and I wish only the best for you, but I’m going to have to break up with you. You are a hog.

Sincerely,

Food