As a proud Weblo in Boy Scouts of America, I remember making homemade root beer at a scout outing. Dry ice was a main ingredient and until recently, I never understood or questioned the use of dry ice as an ingredient in root beer or why they made me smoke brown paper bags… anyway, why was dry ice used in making root beer? To my disarray, I googled and found that other than just a cool fog effect for kids, it’s used to make the root beer fizzier, like club soda. According to this website, there are many other wizardries for dry ice, for example: Taking the dents out of your car and gopher eradication(or skunks, winkie face!), branding and a mosquito repellent for horses. The list goes on for dry ice remedies. I am going to make 3 and a half gallons of root beer next weekend, I plan on pissing a gallon of it, who’s with me?!

Two ground breaking films from innovative sci-fi director Chris Marker make up this double feature: La Jetée follows a postapocalyptic Parisian astronaut who time-travels to be with his lover, Terry Gilliam’s film 12 Monkey’s is based on this original apocalyptic time travel journey and executed with still images; Sans Soleil tells the tale of a globe-trotting, soul-searching cameraman. Chris Marker was so excited about Hitchcock’s Vertigo, that he filmed sans soleil at all the same locations in San Fransisco.

Rent it here

CARROLL AVE.

In Angelino Heights, Los Angeles’s first suburb, there is a street filled with houses built from 1870-1890. This neighborhood looks like something out of Disneyland’s Main Street era. A horror movie is begging to be made here. Most of these house’s were not originally erected here, but later moved here when bunker hill downtown was torn down to make the high rises we see today.

If ever lost in Echo Park on Sunset turn on Douglas towards downtown and take it to Carroll Ave. You’ll be Glad you did.

I feel like going there and renting a young wholesome Mormon family to take a family picture with in front of these amazing houses.

Click here to see more photos

MAP

Dear Bumps,

So early last year most of my friends moved north to Long Beach. Some to LA. Now I sit at home and pick my nose. Do you know of any good porn?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous:

Do you live too far to drive to Long Beach? Is there an inpenetrable forcefield between you and the saddest little beach town that couldn’t? Not that I blame you. The only thing I hate more than haning out in Long Beach is hanging out in LA but since I call it home, may I point out some of its hang-outable attributes?
#1 - Last night a whateveser and I got chased by a member of the heavens gate cult into a liquor store that sells night train right on the corner of Broadway and Cherry - an excellent hang out spot.
#2 - there is a buffalo chicken sandwich at the pike that is very much worth a drive from anywhere. unfortunatley, you better like drop kick murphys and or morrisey to hang out there without wanting to rip off your own face.
#3 - any movie at any time of the day at the pike (different from above pike which is a restaurant, more different pike with angry dockworker gameworks).
#4 - the queen mary observation bar - one of the three best things to do in los angeles county (but you have to dress nicely or you feel like an asshole for being there).

Unfortunatly I can’t help you on the porn from since I get my recommendations from two dudes you probly get yours from. That said, I received as a pre-wedding present a copy of the most horrifyingly borning (but you have to watch becuase its shocking that porn could ever be so banal) porn ever: britney speared. I would be happy to loan it to you.

send your questions to askabumps@gmail.com

you have to be in the right mood ie. silly but god damn i found this funny

Dear Bumps,

I live with roommates who do not understand sanitation. I am not a person of anal retentiveness. I do not freak out when things are not as they “should” be. I live with two boys who are younger than me and have no idea how to take care of themselves. They leave their dishes in the sink (and surrounding areas) and when they bring fast food home, they just leave the remnants around the house. I feel as if I take care of the mess, they will take it for granite and just keep doing it. On the other hand, if I tell them to clean up after themselves, I become surrogate mom, and I don’t want that. If I did, I would find a baby daddy and breed. What should I do? Please help me bumps.

Dear Please help me:

There is only one thing that works but its going to take awhile to put the plan into action. I used this one on my college roommates and they cleaned up. One of them even got a Wendy’s commercial and I would like to think its because of how I taught him this valuable cleanliness lesson. Immediately start joking with them that if they keep leaving thier food detritus around that one day you are going to put it in thier bed. You have to keep this joke up for a few weeks. Always establish that it is a joke with serious undertones. You must refrain during this time from having ANY negative interaction with them at all (this is important because it dramatically cuts down the chances for retaliation). If the behavior doesn’t stop after 3 weeks (it wont), you take all their dishes and fast food bags and put them in their beds. Don’t get mad, just think about how bummed they will be to pull back the comforter and find a greasy Wendys bag curled up on their side of the bed.

Send your questions to askabumps@gmail.com.

Dear Bumps,

Why do the insecure interactive geeks(when I say ‘geeks’ I mean coworkers) at my job suck so bad?
All day long they want to talk about “hot” interns and make dibs on them as their girlfriend, then they call each other gay as though it’s a bad thing, what year are they living in? I don’t think any of them know I’m gay, I think all they ever want to talk about are girls and call each other homos. Why are interactive geeks so gay?

- Ambiguous

Dear Ambiguous:

I wish you had been in my office 30 seconds ago becuase we were having this exact debate. The outcome was ambiguous, our boss…so far out of the closet he couldn’t ever find it again to get back in. One of our resident Vaginas was upset that we all say “gay” and or call each other homos. Our resident homo remained quiet but had just called our loud, fat, long-islander a “big dumb homo”. A conundrum indeed.
As a full time hag, I understand your argument. Negative visibility is a step backward. As a 13 year old bro who grew up in southern california, I can tell you it is an instinctively used colloquialism that is incredibly hard to distance yourself from. It is “dude, awesome, rad and like” basically but has unfortunate roots in hatespeak (much like the simmilar term “lame”) regardless of its re-appropriation. While these troglodites know exactly what they are saying, it is possible that they fundamentally don’t understand that it could be hurting anyone. I am truly sorry that you have to be in a work environment that is emotionally distressing. No one should have to deal with that. That said, honey, the only way to get them to change is to say something so horrifying, mortifying and fucked up to them that they never ever use “gay” as an adjective to describe something negative again. I suggest studying them closely for about a week and then making a dead pan attack. Make them fear you socially. Make them feel shame for hogging all your oxygen, living in thier mothers basements and drinking mountain dew with the lights out in their underwear while playing world of warcraft and jerkin off to the wife from everybody loves raymond. You might actually help them either come out or ask out one of the (probably) inappropriately young interns so they can move on with their lives and leave you in peace.

Send your questions to askabumps@gmail.com.

Who wants to go?