Dear Ask A Bumps:

I’m a working professional, I have a healthy relationship with my friends, peers and co workers. I have a cleaning lady, a dog and a Mortgage. By all accounts I seem like an adult, but I am addicted to the new Mario Galaxy on the wii.
I like to play videos games, but I like to keep a far distance from the stereotype. I don’t have the gaming chair, I don’t get Nintendo power magazine, I only have 3 games for my wii ( Wii sports, Attack of the Rabids and Mario Galaxy). I don’t spend hours on end playing the game. I still like Ms Pac-man and think its the best game of all time, but I find myself glued to Mario Galaxy because, well, its awesome. I have limited myself to passing one level a day, to keep me from becoming a sexless loser at the mercy of my wii. I read there is 122 levels, so this game will be making me happy well into 2008. I guess my question is, as long as I never get guitar hero, is it ok to still be into video games when your 28?

P.S. They have metroid now for the wii, and I am pretending they don’t.

Madex

Dear Madex:

Askabumps@gmail.com has taken many weeks to answer this question becuase I have been playing Mario Galaxy. Right now as I type this with one hand, I am being co-pilot for Mr. Askabumps with the other. Picking up starbits, feeding them to those glowing blobs. Did I mention that Mario is a bee right now? Because he is. I recently read an article that made the argument that generation X is the most sex-less generation in modern history. They blamed aids, stds and birth control pills for makin’ your vag dry like old chicken. I blame video games. When that Wii mote is in my hand the last thing I want is for anything to go near my private bits and askabumps@gmail.com is VERY humpy. A friend who will remain nameless has recently started abusing World of Warcraft. While we were hanging out, he would mention what his dwarf avatar would do in whatever situation we were in and extolled the attributes of his digital alter ego. In his online game life, he was cooking, dancing and making jewelry. After I stopped punching him, I realized that this is it for us as a people. We possibly have 50 good years left, if we are lucky before the entire world goes to crap. Sometimes its better in there than it is out here. Its a hell of a lot easier to collect all the stars in the Good Egg Galaxy than it is to spend those hours worrying about instability in Pakistan. We are living in a time where we have access to the maximum amount of information, but have the least amount of control. We can controll the game play and I think that without these things our brains would short circuit and we would never leave the house. This way our brains remain in tact and we still never leave the house. Stop pretending there is no metroid and stay far away from guitar hero. Maybe Nintendo will release a Wii game that re-teaches us how our genitals work. Until then, I believe princess toadstool needs your help.

Sincerely,

Bumps

If you want to ruin your DAY, CLICK HERE.

Ktlau and I used to work in his parents living room, we used to work long hours doing graphic/video stuff. We would make the time exciting by jumping in the pool with his weights so we could walk on the bottom and finding stuff on the internet to make us laugh, like we still do. Porno Pony was a classic, It has to be 10 years old by now. Please enjoy, Ktlau and I used to sing the song at the end. I can still hear it in my sleep sometimes. I give to you, Porno Pony.

Lewis ran around London’s South Bank without touching the ground to raise awareness of the issues of living in landmine affected areas. This site displays the whole deal in a pretty cool horizontal stream of stop motion shots. If you pause the thing for awhile to load up, it is amazing. This occurred awhile back, so it may be old news to some of you, but I thought it worthy for multiple reasons. Enjoy.

I’ve been meaning to put this up on whateves for a while now. But I have been lazy.

This shit is the best thing poured in a cup ever. I like to mix it half and half with the  Hershey’s Chocolate.  It is at 7-11 for a limited time, so go get it today. It is amazing.

PatBenatard posted this on my Myspace today. I screamed in excitement.

 Papa Farley
Mama Farley  

Baby Farley 

Stu Nahan A Los Angeles legendary sportscaster battling lymphoma dies at age 81. Stu came to work in Los Angeles in 1968 and worked for channels 7 and 4. Outside LA he was know as the boxing commentator in all of the Rocky films. He also made an appearance in Fast Times At Rigmont High, interviewing Jeff Spicoli.

Stu Nahan: So, what is next for Jeff Spicoli?
Jeff Spicoli: Ahhh… headed over to Australia, then to the Hawaiian internationals… then me and Mick are going to wing on over to London and jam with the Stones!

Trader Joe’s Candy Cane Joe Joe’s

Every once in a while I come across something I ate that is so delicious I feel the need to post about it, and categorizing it under “Something I Ate” doesn’t feel like I’m giving it enough credit. So, I created a new sub-category called “Delicious Alert“.

Trader Joe’s has been making there version of Nabisco’s Oreo® cookies called “Joe Joe’s” for a while now. This holiday I (just) found Trader Joe’s holiday version of Joe Joe’s called… Candy Cane Joe Joe’s! This scrumtrulescent cookie is simply two chocolate cookie disks with a creamy center (just like an Oreo® or Joe Joe’s) however the twist is there are bits of real candy cane in the cream!

I have been finding myself snacking on them all day. The peppermint bits of candy cane really complement the chocolate and cream. They are only here for a limited time and will be gone after the holiday season. I plan on stocking up and rationing them for the year.

Read More Delicious Alerts

Apparently Furries were an undiscovered species to advertisers… until now!

Orangina (which always sounded to me like an orange w/female genitalia) is reaching out to those sultans of sexual deviance, by creating a CGI advert with sex-crazed humanimals.

In this spot (starring Madex) the swarthy BearPimp of the forest, temps an innocent SheDeer into flashdance style golden shower striptease after being driven mad with jealousy by a lapdancing Octopussy.

Click whichever ‘breed’ gives you a Zoological arousal to watch:

Okay, so human tetris was awesome… but dorm room tetris is mind blowing.

On Dec. 4th 2007 Students of Tampere University of Technology in Finland spent weeks wiring their dorm rooms with LED lights, coding, programming, testing, and debugging, software in order to create the worlds largest colored graphics display.

With the windows of the building acting as pixels, a PC running software that animated the lights, and a mobile phone controlled gaming interface, naturally, TETRIS had to be played.

I didn’t know this was happening, and I straight up farted with excitment when I saw this today. 2008 is going to be great!!!

Check out more about the movie here. LINK 

In celebration of the holiday for the rest of us, I am giving you links to the top 100 records of the 90’s as declared by Pitchfork. Ok, I am just doing a little copy and paste because I did not upload these, but its some good stuff. Check it out after the break.

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