Ask A Bumps - How Old is Too Old?
Dear Askabumps@gmail.com,
I am 27. I feel old. I can’t stay up late without being cranky the next day. I like to go to bed at 8:30pm when possible. I have to check the 25 and older box when surveyed. I catch myself thinking and saying under my breath, “Damn Kids”. I drive poorly at night without glasses. I have too many gray hairs, and I find myself wearing nylons more often than not. Despite this slew of “old” activities that I have been reduced to, I shop in the Junior’s section of my local Department Store. I cannot see myself in the Women’s section for another 15 years or so.
How old is too old to shop at Forever 21 and in the Junior’s Section,
Please advise,
The Orthopedic Goddess
Dear Orthopedic Goddess:
This querrie hit home hard for Askabumps@gmail.com who has been having some serious identity problems in the aging department. I too love being old but am afraid of seeming old. I’ve been pondering this one for about a week and the answer hit me this morning while reading an article about one of those hot lady teachers who got down with a student who was arrested again for inappropriate underage relations. The following mugshot is the beginning to the answer to your question…observe:
The above image scared me straight off not being able to “dress my age”. The answer to how old is too old is the following: If you were to be arrested right now for being a hot lady teacher banging an underage student, would what you are wearing make your mugshot creepy/mentally handicapped? If the answer to this is yes, burn what you are wearing. After seeing this, I will never wear anything “cute” again. No more Hello Kitty T-shirts, no more XL clothes from the kids section. Its over and I am more than okay with that. That said. You have a juniors size body. Be thankful and use forever 21 and the juniors section to dress in an age and size appropriate manner. Askabumps@gmail.com has never seen you dress inappropriately for your age or size so I guess the answer is when you are too old to fit into the clothes you are too old to wear them. Until then, dress for your mugshot.
Bumps
See… this is more like it.
does this mean the harajuku girl look is out for me? it works so well for gwen!
how come i can’t post a picture in my comments? why is psmynameisphil so much cooler than me for being able to do that? how do i, too, achieve whateves tech geek status?
Harajuku girl would not translate well into a mug shot. yes…it is out.
i would hit that doe-eyed schoolteacher so hard her mother wouldn’t recognize her.
yes. and then there’s that.
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