I really want to Kill a Mockingbird
Not in a Harper Lee way, in a fucking dead way. There is one that sits outside my bedroom all night and screams like a 90’s standard car alarm.(whooooop, ezh ezh ehz, weee wooo wee wooo) It doesn’t even wait till sunrise, it just toots its horn all goddamn night. I’m a vegetarian, but I am ready to burn this bird on a steak. There is a fake owl out there, it just screams in it’s face, there is also a 18 inch Godzilla on the roof, it just takes dumps on its head. Does anyone have any suggestions, I haven’t slept this week.
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motion sensors
You cold find get this bird to keep watch outside your window: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNNl_uWmQXE
holy crap that was scary.
I don’t want to kill it now, I just want it to go away.
That’s easy!! Download or find the sound effect of a big owl or hawk, some type of big ass bird that sounds scary and would eat a Mockingbird. (Barn Owl or Screech Hawk??) Then put a speaker up to ur window the next time you hear the Mockingbird chirping away, and blast that shit. Trust me it works.
The same scenario happened to me when I was 12 or so. My dad’s National Geographic bird call record sure came in handy. :D
You also could make a scare crow out of the spanks girl picture. Blow it up and hang it in your tree… it would scare me away
i’ve seen that bird outside Simon’s balcony a couple mornings, she’s got boy-birds lined up down the telephone line … bird-banging em on top of the telephone pole.
the 24/7 chirping is her nympho-whore call … i think pepper spray works for whores?
haha, that bitch was mocking me when I was telling her to “shutup”! at 1am, it was mocking the same tone of shut-up. she then stated to follow my whistle tone, it was a special moment, we were friends for a moment until she wouldn’t stop, so I threw a small vat of hummus at her. never heard the whore again.
We are a mess… your Mocking Bird chirping all night and my Skunks living under my deck.
Nature sucks, Chunk was right, “I love the dark, but I hate nature”.
I will pay 10 dollars to whoever can rid my life of this fucking bird. any takers.
Dear Madex,
I found this website obviously by typing I really want to kill a mockingbird.
I have not one but two of these evil birds taunting me. They arrived today at 10 am.
Have you figured a way to get rid of these bastards? Please let me know.
Cheers!
Kim
Dear Kim, No, I haven’t gotten rid of them.
I tried to put owl sounds on an iPod and loop them on a stereo in the backyard.
It didn’t work, nothing works. If you yell at it, it will yell back.
I feel however you are lucky, cause 10am is an ok time for a bird to scream.
1am however is not the right time. I have had many sleepless nights, and still continue to.
I got a loud fan, that sorta drowns out the bird screams.
Good Luck Kim,
I hate my mockingbird it started at one a.m and went on for 3 hours. I will figure out a way to kill him. Yes I know it is not legal, whoever past that law did not have a mockingbird out their door. My across the stree neighbor feeds birds… does anyone think she started this mess…
No, she didn’t start it. The Mocking bird is evil and knows exactly what it is doing when it is pissing you off. I never got rid of mine, it still screams from time to time.
Hummm… I guess having a skunk in my yard is not looking to bad.
Oh, do I loathe the mockingbird. You can read my post here: http://luluslaundryblog.com/2008/05/28/nature-vs-nurture/
Did you ever get rid of the damn thing? My mother is still spending countless sleepless nights because of one. Let me know if you figured out a way!!
Hey guys, just happened upon this sight while searching for ways of getting rid of a mocking bird. Sorry you have the problem but I’m also glad to know it’s not just me. Had this problem in the past in a different house and it lasted for a year and a half. The bird was driving me insane. I bought a pellet gun and hunted it for a month. I killed it . The neighbors cheered and I felt horrible for a couple of days but I slept like log.
I now have the problem once again but I really don’t want to deal with the gilt of killing it so I’m going to go with a high powered water nozzle . I know they hate to be wet especially at night. I think it will work. Try a soap and water mixture that wont mess with nature but might jack it’s feathers up a bit. Happy hunting.
Good Idea. I also got a loud fan that makes the bird harder to hear at night.
Yeah good idea… If some animal is bothering you shoot it with a pellet gun until its dead? and your neighbors cheered? For fuck sake, when can I start hunting people I don’t like? PS I still have skunks and I’m NOT about to kill them.
Yeah……. A human and an insane bird is exactly the same. Are you kidding me? You don’t kill people dumb ass. But you’re probably one of those A-holes that put animals in front of people. Enjoy your skunk problem . I wont be as big of an ass as you though. Here you go ,here is how to solve your skunk problem. Find some friends with a jack russle terrier, have them pea all over your back yard and the skunk should leave.
SC, don’t be a total douche. First of all the Mocking Bird in not insane. It’s squawking b/c that is what it does… its a bird, it doesn’t know any better. Second, yes I would put any of my pets before a stranger. My pets are family. Third, urine won’t repel a skunk. The only thing that repel a skunk is the sent of it’s natural enemy… the fox.
So, I guess I’m one of those “A-holes”… (sigh)
Yes you’re right. You are a total idiot!
that is nasty!!!!!!
We actually have an insane mocking bird here at our house in Florida. It flies into our windows for hours on end. I put a scarecrow out by our bedroom window a few days ago, the kind you get for fall yard decoration and have not heard it again at that window. The crazy thing is that it has been banging its head into various windows on our house, cars and neighbor’s houses for MONTHS and is still alive and kicking. Not sure what we’re going to try if it starts again, it’s our state bird and it’s obviously dain bramaged. Poor thing.
i ate mocking bird for dinner….
to prepare:
catch mocking bird on feeder
throw in charcoal grill
let flap till dead
eat. may want bbq sauce on top
I heard if mockingbirds find mates, they “sing” less. Anyone know if that’s true?
I’m cursed with a mocking bird too! I tried hosing it out of the tree, didn’t work, just bought a slingshot, took a handful of pellets and shot at it for about 15 minutes, it sits in a large tree outside my window, so far it’s been quiet, I hope I killed it, will know soon.
I had a mocking bird that drove me nuts. I ended up taping a glue trap for mice where it landed, and sure enough it landed right on it. I then went outside and lopped the bastards head off with a knife.
you guys are really fuckin terrible. eatin a mocking bird choppin its heads off. killin it!!!!!: >:[. you should of just wet it with a hose or something like the 1 guy said. i hope all you ass holes who tortured those poor inicent birds burn in hel!!! and i have had a mockingbird outside ma house it really was annoyin but thats no reason to kill it. just wet it.!
Wow. I am amazed how many people seem to have this problem. Now I am encouraged more then ever to find a solution. I live in a small city in LA. My neighborhood has become over run by mockingbirds. I wish I only had one or two like the rest of you. That would be a blessing. They line up on the telephone wires before dawn. Once the sun comes up and it gets warm they head for a shady tree. They and their bird crap are everywhere. I don’t have the heart to kill them, but I have often fantasized about an electrical current coming through the wires and zapping the crap out of them once and for all.
Thanks for letting me share. I feel much better.
I got on this site to look for answer as well. I had one last year that I shot with a bb gun and killed it. I also felt bad but got over it. Now I’ve got another that is making me crazy and I can’t find another way to get ride of it, so I’m loading the bb gun again.
Mix up some bird seed and fertelizer and put a bird feeder nearby. You will no longer have any bird problems
The two posters before the fertilizer guy. dont think those are mockingbirds especially the ones that line up. The reason they are noisy is because they are looking for a mate. So buy him a hooker bird? Other than that I would play Blue jay noises since they hate them but wont fight em. Hawks and Eagles wont work because they will fight them. Or the glue trap minus the head cutting. Just go drop his ass off in a different neighborhood. Could also take heart that since the bird is now a year older he can find a mate easier.
You guys, play a blue jay sound. It’s 2:30 in the morning and I have been desperately battling an %%%%% mocking bird for a week now (I’m at zombie status from lack of sleep). I tried hosing the bird, didn’t work. I tried throwing a Frisbee at the tree to scare the bird away, didn’t work. I tried throwing pebbles. I tired owl sounds. I tried hawk sounds. Nothing worked. After reading the above post I played a blue jay audio clip and the stupid bird immediately shut up!!!!!!
They are looking for a mate. Just use earplugs or a white noise machine. Get over it. Birds were here long before we were …
Same problem here… One more night of this, AND we will Rent a Flame Thrower… and burn the little beat into TOAST!
This has been hugely cathartic for me. I pray to god the bluejay sounds work. If not that, I’m investing in a supersoaker. If not that… well then pray for the bird.
The comment for a person with “Get over it.” comment: “Get over it” is not helpful. If anything it is annoying and will only make people more pissed at these birds and people who like them.
I have a mocking bird outside of my window that has been keeping me up for a week.
I am quite sure that this particular bird was not here when I was born so according to your logic, I have more rights. My husband just threw a shoe at the tree and it helped. Since you did not offer any “humane” solution, I am planning to hose the tree down with water if I hear the bird again. If this still does not work, I will find somebody to kill the creature. Not something I want to do…
ok like it’s been 3 nights in a row and i want to load my gun! I love animals and never killed anything (well except for that one time). i am looking for blue jay music right now….. if it doesn’t work flame thrower love it!
Has anyone tried hanging old cds in the trees or wrapping fishing line in tree? A friend suggested this, but I want to try and find out if it’s been successful before I go to the trouble. Of course I have nothing else to do all night thanks to this bird.
I have had it! These **** birds are driving me insane. Every year it seems like they get worse. Like so many of you I have had countless nights of NO SLEEP. I have a Loud Fan and wear cotton in my ears…barely drowns them out. They never stop, 24 hours a day they scream. It’s relentless (on a side note, this might be an idea for a humane method of human torture). I’ve heard that reflective objects such as cds and tin pie pans “sometimes” work until they become accustomed to them. Besides, at my age I’m not very good at climbing trees anymore or scaling my roof to put these items in place. And, who is going to go out at 3:00 am and blast them with water? In my “brilliance” I pounded my fist on my bathroom window and busted it at 3:30 this am. It was an old single pane window! Now, I am determined to do whatever it takes to rid my self of these MOST OBNOXIOUS creatures. And, for heaven’s sake how long does it take to find a mate? I live in So. California and I have had this problem for well over 6 weeks now. It’s maddening! So, where can I find these BLUE JAY sounds? I’ll try anything at this point.
Well,
I tried the bluejay sounds and they… didn’t work. When the little b***tard woke me up yet again at 5 am, I had bluejay squawks preloaded and ready to go on my computer. I threw in some earplugs and blared the terrible sounds at top volume for a few minutes. Turned it off and the horrible mocking bird was still whistling its car alarm chirp uninterrupted. I’ve done this a few mornings in a row now, and the neighbors have started crossing the street when they see me coming.
These birds are Hell in tiny winged form.
I’ve got one too. 1:30am and he’s just beginning his 3 hours of relentless calling. I’m half tempted to toss my cat into the tree he’s calling from. He’d gladly rip the bird to shreds. Tried the bluejay calls to no avail. If anything, he interacts and tries mocking them. Praying the great horned owl returns and scoops his annoying ass up.
Obviously Harper Lee never had one of these freakin birds living outside her window yammering on and on all night long. I’ve got one of these stupid birds living in my neighbor’s tree in a small metropolitan neighborhood. It was here all last summer, shrieking and clacking and yapping all night long, usually starting at about 11pm. Sometimes it would go for hours and hours, or just a little while, but each night without fail. I’d love to shoot it, chop down it’s tree, or beat it to death with a shovel. You are welcome to trade beds with me for 1 week before judging me, though going by previous posts, it looks as though I am not alone on this. I was so relieved when this thing split last summer, and am not even sure if it is the same bird this time, but, had I known this thing was going to come back, I seriously would have not renewed my lease and moved lol.
I have been battling mockingbirds at my house for months. It is slowly making me insane. The only permanent solution is to kill them. Hosing doesn’t work and whoever said “relocate” them, seriously? That’s like saying I don’t want nuclear waste in my backyard, but it’s okay in someone else’s. Why would you inflict your problem on someone else? I doubt all of you idiots condemning people who want to kill a bird are vegetarians, which I guess would make you raging hypocrites instead. These little birds are awful. I used to hose him out of my tree, now he’s moved to a neighbor’s tree where I can’t get him, but can still hear him loud and clear. He used to scream from about 11pm to 10am, and now he pretty much screams 24/7. It’s enough to make me want to sell my house. My only option appears to be continuing to shoot at him with my air rifle until I hit him.
Glad I’m not the only one.. have had a stupid mockingbird mocking me for a few weeks now.. usually starts up at 11pm and goes till the early morning. Luckily I stay up late most nights.. trying to sleep with that bird would be near impossible
A calming and brief wave of sanity just washed over me knowing that I have not blown this situation out of proportion in my head. Clearly these little bags of fuck sauce have the propensity to cause sever emotional distress to all who are thrown into this unfortunate disposition. I hate PETA, eat veal, where baby seal skin clothing, and when I played Oregon Trial everyone in my train died of glutton because all did was hunt.
But I digress. I have spent many sleepless moons planning my attack, and tonight I hope to realize the fruit of my efforts. Here is the plan:
Step 1) I coated the entire tree in turpentine early this morning.
Step 2) I have a high powered hose in “ready” position.
Step 3) I have a pool cleaning net also in “ready” position
Step 4) I have set up 3 strobe lights, all from various angles, which will all be activated simultaneously.
Step 5) Wait patiently allowing the blood lust to subtly grow
Step 6) Soon as that talentless faggot starts his escapades I spring the strobe lights which should render him temporarily paralyzed because he will think he is at a Bird rave with hot bird pussy.
Step 7) blast him with the hose until he falls from the tree and to the ground like an epileptic kid playing a japanese video game
Step 8) use the pool net to capture him. Chloroform him and place a bag on his head so he doesn’t know where I am taking him and burn his tree to the ground to destroy any residue evidence.
Step 9) Take him to a secret location where I plan on water boarding him until he divulges all secrets of the mocking bird community. (I plan on sharing these secrets upon retrieval)
Step 10) Call him names to degrade him and remind him how he is shaming his ancestors.
Step 11) Convince him to die honorably by committing a samurai style suicide
Step 12) Recklessly discard his body in the public square to serve as a warning to all future mocking birds,
I will post later with my results.
Hi, my name is Phil and I have a mockingbird in my backyard. The thing drives me nuts. This started 3-4 weeks back and if it continues for the next 3-4 weeks it will be dead, laws be damned. Thank you for hearing me Mockingbirds Anonymous.
well I had one keeping me awake for weeks now, everynight 1 am to 3 am or 4 am he would wake my daughters up it was a mess. went to the store bought a pellet gun, iwas upstairs at about 8 or so heard him, went down and 1st shot I took( Im a good shot) hit him in the head and he fell in my driveway. I slept like a baby last night. Now do I have guilt ? no not one ounce in fact I did a dead bird dance I was so happy. This thing has ruined me for work and woken my entire household up for weeks. Humans are the dominant species for a reason, this time the reason was the invention of a pellet gun.
So if you are tired like me , dont wrestle with it, buy the pellet gun and shoot the sucker, hope this helps someone out there.
Oh and I left his corpse wings spread out in my yard , I hope his freinds see it and they get the message.
It is screaming right now. It is screaming around the clock. I am in a crowded section of LA, and I know it is driving everyone crazy. If it’s true that we just need to find it a mate, are there dating websites for mockingbirds? I will pay the monthly fee.
Seven years ago this month, we had another mockingbird and I went out one night at 2:00 am with a rock to try to kill it. The next day, Gregory Peck died. God’s truth. I figured baby Jesus was trying to tell me something.
Last night I went out and shook the tree. It flew off, but just went to a neighbors tree and laughed at me….. all night long.
Well here we go. Last spring a mockingbird went every day almost 24 hours a day. I lost a lot of sleep. He was just out of pellet gun range and I could not shoot in his direction due to risk of monetary damage. I am an outstanding marksman. I do not miss when something is in range.
The bird stopped in September so I just let it go. Well he started again this spring. Same bird same tree. Same stupid noises and flying between the same three trees. He finally came in to my yard and I had the pellet gun at the ready. I dropped him like a bad habit and felt absolutely no remorse. It was quiet again.
Three days later another one started going but only in the day time. I said to myself at least it is only in the day time. Well this one started to make noise at night also. Same scenario another bird down. To make a long story short I have about 12 confirmed kills in the last few months and they just keep coming.
At what point will they become extinct in my neighborhood?