MarioKart Liveblog
10:02 Liveblogging has begun, my wine drinking happened earlier in the bathtub where I almost drown from a combination of charles shaw and sammy davis jr jokes and a pizza from hard times is on the way.
10:07 The game has begun. The only people on the couch are me, madex and mose the dog. Moose just sighed. Madex said “stop being upset moose, you didn’t loose any money.” We just lost our connection.
10:08 Brent is signed in, so is danceparty julie. everyone is racing but we can’t see it.
10:09 where is the pizza. man. OH! Simon came in. I love simon.
10:10 we still can’t get on. we are instead discussing why Cool As Ice should be on blue ray. ooo and legend of billy jean.
10:11 we are now discussing procuring bad movies “off shore”.
10:12 much is being made of Vanilla Ice’s career trajectory. Patbenetard just walked in!
10:13 simon and madex are racing while Patbenetard brushes his teeth. where is the goddamn pizza. I’ve had wine! I didn’t eat 7/11 donuts and now I have to wait for pizza. Is there no end to the indignities I must suffer?
10:14 simon sucks at this game as hard as I do. Oh wait, no, hes better.
10:17 simon is leaving.
10:18 pizza? pizza?
10:19 MAd ex and Patbenetard are racing. We are listening to records instead of the game. Right now we are listening to Ratatat. Madex just threatened to put the fame soundtrack on. its a slow night on the couch. Patbenetard is pouting. Julie is really good.
10:20 Patbenetard just asked us if when swining as a kid you would say “stay out of my toilet” to people swinging next to you. Now hes saying “stay out of my toilet” has nothing to do with being mormon. There is now a discussion of whether mormon kids are more or less perverted than other kids.
10:22 We are now discussing at what age we learned about sex. Phil came in first.
10:38 alright, Im back. I just took an extended pizza break. Hard Times wasn’t so great tonight. Its my favorite la pizza too. I need to find a new favorite. Its no bronx in san diego. I also had an extended day dream about the orange county fair. Im going to eat a lot of fried things. and look at the worlds biggest horse and ride dirty tarp. I wish it was tomorrow.
10:39 the only people playing are brent, madex, patbenetard and phil. This is way uneventful.
10:40 I’m going to blog about what DancePartyJulie and I did on saturday night becuase its more entertaining than this weak ass game.
10:41 so i went to pick julie up and passed by a lesbian rally and eddie griffin was yelling at lesbians from his car.
10:42 then we went to mexico city and drank tequila and ate cheese. there were drag queens everywhere. when we pulled into the parking lot, we saw this weird white dude going through the recycling. when we walked around the front of the restaurant he was sitting in his car with a towel across his lap jerking off. that guy must have really liked recycling.
10:43 then we went to japantown and got in an elevator full of japanese people who laughed at us and talked shit.
10:44 we got out of an elevator and a guy foaming at the mouth yelled at us. Then we walked to Moca for the struggle. we drank wine, layed on the ground and harassed henry rollins. then don bolles walked in with a haram of 25 year old ladies.
10:45 He sat down on a morrocan pouf by way of the ikea childrens department and they all sat around him like he was charles manson. then I got bored of spying on don bolles and laughing at henry rollins and went in the museum.
10:47 then they showed old punk videos outside. I was there for flipper videos but they never showed flipper. They did show old tuxedomoon footage and I have not laughed that hard in a long time. Tuxedomoon is lame. also jello biafra is embarassing to watch do anything.
10:48 there was about 2 seconds of germs footage and rad video of an artist who built robots and things that explode and Rollins era blackflag which I am mostly ambivalent about.
10:49 we ran into madeline and josh and then went to a party at worstcasekevin’s house. we were the oldest people there.
10:50 I ate a 3 muskateers and text messaged until it was time to go home. i was the designated driver.
10:54 madex has speculated that with the wii fit, you can make wii porn
10:55 we are listening to murder city devils. I think patbenetard is having a seizure.
10:56 “I looked at bumps and flew off the side, I shouldn’t talk dirty!”
10:57 man, pizza is in me. im going to have pizza nightmares. I ate some fucked up things today. I had coffee and a lot of m&ms and pizza and a bunch of wine and some almonds. Is anybody out there a dietician? I think i need an intervention. My bachelor life is going to kill me.
11:01 where is everybody??!?!?!? where are the brennemans and devil wife? this game is serriously weak,
11:02 patbenetard just said “the best thing about pizza is that when I eat it, my moustache smells like cheese”
11:14 alright I’m done. I’ll be gone for the next two wednesdays but I might liveblog this anyway from france and just do it over the phone…maybe.
Related posts:
- MARIO KART TOURNAMENT #2 LIVEBLOG 9:34 Good evening ladies and Germs. Im at Madex’s...
- BUMPS: Live Blogging the Mario Kart tournament 9:33 p.m. The game has not started yet but...
- Xmas Shopping at Rose Bowl Flea Market this Sunday. Come get all your holiday shopping done and stop...
- New Zealand Natural Ice Cream Around the office, different people come by to give...
- Chivas USA 3, Galaxy 0 Beckham is saying “fuck you matey” I’m starting to...
Saturday night ruled. Thank you for the recap.
I think Mormon kids are perverted in a different way.
Patbenetard just said “the best thing about pizza is that when I eat it, my moustache smells like cheese†- nearly killed me.
The race really got heated when Philsy and I went head to head. He is the master of tease.
you said some fucked up things to phil’s avatar that I regret being too lazy to write about. Also phil, what the fuck is wrong with you? even I got mad watching you taunt madex by slowing down so he could watch you cross the finish line and beat him.
Fucking Hell on a Crusty Stick. If you don’t liveblog that I won Rainbow Road… AGAIN, I’m gonna smash your cunt.
thanks brent. this is why im going to die alone. I spend my free time liveblogging a goddamn videogame tournament and taking shit from a guy who lives half way around the world who took off work to play a video game against people who very easily could all be doing something really social together in real life. Did you hear that? That was the sound of my vagina falling off.
Blah blah blah. Don’t worry, your vagina can stay in my trophy cup… FROM WINNING RAINBOW ROAD!!!
Bret, you may have won Rainbow Road, but I will have my revenge.
Bumps “Also phil, what the fuck is wrong with you? even I got mad watching you taunt madex by slowing down so he could watch you cross the finish line and beat him.” You and my wife think I’m an asshole now. She said “your suck a dick, they are not going to let you play next time.
Also, I don’t even know Julie but she knocked me off a bridge… so I ran her over when I got the star. Sorry Julie.
Watch it Brent or Erin Brokovich will pay you a visit
and phil you’re only an asshole until you figure out my catch phrase and themesong