Small town gets flooded with Ranch Dressing
Damn you, internet. I am just sitting here eating my lunch, about to head out for the weekend, and here you have me writing about some foolish story of a town getting flooded with ranch dressing. Can’t you leave me alone today? Isn’t it enough that I cuddle close to you in times of loneliness and depression? I look to you when I am scared, curious, angry, amarous and in need of the name of the girl who played Jason Bateman’s sister on “Its Your Move” (Tricia Cast), can’t you just let me go home? I promise that I will check my iPhone a multitude of times on the way back to the house, where the 3 Macs that live there are all connected to your life giving teet at a blazing 15mpbs, but for now just let me go enjoy these potato chips and a quiet afternoon with this new issue of Jet magazine I just mistakenly recived in my mailbox.
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I only wish the vegan ranch dressing from The Vegan spot would flow into my basement.
I have had long, serious thoughts about winning the Lotto and getting a big pool an filling it up with peanut butter…
I also really, really, really want to get a Super Soaker and one of those big-ass cans of nacho cheese from Costco. Heat the cheese up to a liquid state and then quickly dump it into the water cannon, then go around spraying the town with a stream of hot cheese. I think before summer’s end, I can make this dream into a reality. I just wish Phil was out here… OH! I may be going out to LA in August… its on. We’ll be spraying bus stops on Ocean Blvd with hot cheese. Done and done.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm cheeeese
Oh my god, sladehayes makes me laugh!
Now they just need a french fry truck to roll over and collide with the house.