Ask A Bumps - “My Vaj-a-jay’s painin!”
So, If you know me, you know my va-jay-jay has troubs. The following is an account of what sometimes happens when your va-jay-jay is as oprah says, “painin”.
[10:45] bumpsasarusrex: dude
[10:45] bumpsasarusrex: i have a story for you
[10:46] bumpsasarusrex: that has nothing to do with dudes btw
[10:46] m0nstereye: let it rip
[10:46] bumpsasarusrex: alright so yesterday I go to the vag-a-jay doctor to
[10:46] bumpsasarusrex: find out whats up with my jay-jay
[10:46] bumpsasarusrex: cuz its in troubs
[10:46] bumpsasarusrex: so
[10:46] bumpsasarusrex: the following things happen while im there:
[10:46] bumpsasarusrex: #1 my new gyno hates the gays which made me extremely uncomfortable
[10:47] bumpsasarusrex: since this shouldn’t be the first topic of conversation
[10:47] bumpsasarusrex: when someone is staring into your gine
[10:47] bumpsasarusrex: #2 I kept my boots on becuase im lazy and the nurse and the doctor (again while kickin it in my gine) sang the apple bottom jeans boot with the fur song
[10:48] bumpsasarusrex: except the gyno was saying bell bottom jeans and then the nurse would make fun of him
[10:48] bumpsasarusrex: THEN
[10:48] bumpsasarusrex: I go for blood work and im in the blood chair
[10:49] bumpsasarusrex: and I look up and see this like computer printout of a rediculously long internet joke about asking god to send you a good mexican man
[10:49] bumpsasarusrex: so the lady takes like all of my blood
[10:49] m0nstereye: this is wonderful
[10:49] m0nstereye: you need to whateves this
[10:49] bumpsasarusrex: and i held my breath becuase
[10:49] bumpsasarusrex: i will
[10:50] bumpsasarusrex: I wasn’t even thinking about it and she took 4 blood thingies
[10:50] bumpsasarusrex: and i passed out after giving her like 10 warning i was going to
[10:50] bumpsasarusrex: and then she got mad and made me lay on the floor and gave me “cold juice”
[10:50] m0nstereye: cold juice
[10:50] m0nstereye: hahaa
[10:50] bumpsasarusrex: which was a capri sun (im sorry that does not qualify as cold juice)
[10:50] m0nstereye: hahaha
[10:50] bumpsasarusrex: and then i looked up
[10:51] bumpsasarusrex: at like where my blood vials were kicking it
[10:51] bumpsasarusrex: and there was a half eaten burrito like laying right next to my blood
[10:51] bumpsasarusrex: then becuase my stupid arm would not stop bleeding
[10:51] m0nstereye: stay out the free clinic
[10:51] bumpsasarusrex: they wrapped
[10:51] bumpsasarusrex: no this was a nice rich orange county house wife [place
[10:51] bumpsasarusrex: i was shocked
[10:52] bumpsasarusrex: anyway
[10:52] bumpsasarusrex: they wrapped my arm up in this crazy thing that had advertising for gardasil all over it
[10:52] bumpsasarusrex: so then I couldn’t even go anywhere after becuase
[10:52] m0nstereye: ahahhah
[10:52] bumpsasarusrex: my arm was advertising the hpv vaccine
[10:52] m0nstereye: this is the best outting ever
[10:52] bumpsasarusrex: yeah it kind of ruled
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holy crap…i don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
You should laugh. I did. And kept asking the doctor and nurse to stop making it awkward. I didn’t even include the part where something happened I wasn’t expecting and i jumped up and the paper crap i was wearing fell off and I was butt ass naked. I laughed until i cried
I would also like to state that the above story has nothing to do with stds…im just sayin
did you spend anytime defending the gays? or did you sit silent like the catholic church did during the holocaust.
Bumps you make me pee my pants little. and my Vajay is angry at life also!