The government is trying to kill us with rainbows.

Things just keep getting better…tales of the worst of times as they are overshadowed and/or made funny/insignificant by the very best of times.

Here’s my story. I have an encyclopedia Britannica’s worth of these moments over the last 3 years that I would like to share. Also, because once someone shit in my shower and you should care.

This morning while concocting some truly awful protein shake while in my underwear with my finger on the pulse setting of the blender, staring down at my new collection of hives that make clothing nearly impossible, I realized that, as I stated above, I was blending semi-nude without inhibition. Here’s why this is awesome…

I once shared a kitchen with a beast that I found on craigslist. Beast found maggots in beast’s ‘very old laundry.’ That’s verbatim, I can’t make this shit up. Side note: Does laundry have age? Does it expire? Moving on, the beast chose to pile all maggoty laundry onto the kitchen floor. I am not, nor is beast a Rockafeller, so needless to say, the kitchen was tiny and also used frequently by us and therefore there was no room for ‘old’ or ‘new/young’ laundry. Maggots catch my gag reflex, especially around my foods. I could no longer use the kitchen. Beast did not care because beast ate only tubs of rice pudding that were opened and finished in one sitting. Not only could I never use the kitchen again, I felt compelled to be dressed from head to toe at all times. Not that I would have sashayed into the kitchen nude with beast around, but I might have risked barefoot. I ceased to be able to take showers at this residence. Beast constantly took dumps and made that area uninhabitable anyway. Eventually I moved…

Fast forward to this morning….blending in my underwear and barefoot. Not a maggot is sight, just a disgruntled French turtle and a whole lot of booze. Despite my hives and horrible protein shake of a breakfast, life just keeps getting better.

Look for future installments of ‘Life: It just keeps getting better’

While we’ve seen the Kurt Cobain shoe disaster, and Simon posted about bastard Elvis discount shoes, and we’ve known about the back to the future shoe release for sometime now, it actually just came out.

But we haven’t seen this far a stretch in adult footwear from 80’s child movies before. Sure this sorta hack shit comes out at Payless Shoesource for infants when a film is released, I’m sure you can get your 3 year old some kick ass Dark Knight sneakers right now, but in 25 years for adults that shouldn’t be the case. I’m talking about Puma’s Goonies Shoes.

Look at this culture abortion. More pics after the jump.

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Last time I talked about my turtles it was about their new found extreme behavior of base jumping off my back stairs.

But now there is a new chapter. Seems that the adventurous one has again jumped, this time its unclear how he was able to force he way out of the tank, but with his skill and intellect, he was able to do it. While I’ve looked all over the backyard for him, I’m 100% sure he didn’t splat and die. He’s taken off to college, or gone for a pilgrimage to bask in the echo park lake. The saddest part is seeing the last lonely turtle swimming around looking for the missing mate. I’m pretty sure the turtle that bailed was Perry, Perry was the small shy turtle at first compared to the brute dyke lesbian turtle that Shakranda was. But once I started feeding them fish, Perry really took to it more so then Shakranda and grew out of his feeble state and really put Shakranda in her place. So, good luck to you Perry, I hope you find what you’re looking for. You were loved.

Here’s a look back at them two years ago.

I found this really cool Nintendo graphic while researching wall decals for my new “open office area”. My work just finished renovating a floor in our building and is moving the creative dept to this new area. It look like cubical land to me, but that will be in another rant coming soon.

This Nintendo inspired wall graphic comes in 2 sets: Mario Brothers and Donkey Kong. Although this is not quite what I had in mind for my work area I still think this is cool. If I had this when I was a kid my bedroom wall would definitely be the best on the block.

The decals are made by Blik and are really easy to install. I actually have the Space Invader decals on my glass window at home, they are really fun.

On the site you can also choose from a whole variety of designers with all different types of personalities and colors. This is a really easy way to bring a lot of personality and uniqueness to your living or work space with fairly minimal effort. I just wish it was easier to create a custom wall graphic.