California…We need to have a talk…
Are you fucking kidding me? you passed 8? You know California. I’ve lived in you my entire life. We had a very special relationship. Mostly, though, I will admit, I liked you because you’re warm. But I am very very dissapointed in you.
Click the jump. I get very angry.
Last night, after crying from happiness, three of my favorite people in the whole world sat on the edge of the couch watching the numbers between yes and no on prop 8 grow farther apart. Three of my favorite people in the world watched the state they choose to live in vote in large numbers to revoke a right that should be inherently theirs. Three guys who are smart, funny, successful, loving, good people felt like they matter less than animals to other people (note, we all voted yes on 2. holler). Three people who have worked so hard for everything they have, acceptance from other people, acceptance of themselves. I never thought I would say this, but FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. Fuck you EVERYONE who voted yes on 8. Who raised you? seriously. Who says, “making people sad? Sure, I’ll vote for that”. FUCK YOU.
People we love of all racial backgrounds, across gender lines are discriminated against and treated like the fucking plague because of who they love. And its not just as clear as straights vs gays and cant be dismissed as hate from crazy fringe groups. Imagine for a second if a religion you deeply believed in your whole life turned its back on you because of who you love, If you were afraid of your own fucking family, if you never knew when you walk into a room, who is going to be cool with you and who isn’t, having to hide that part of your life at work for fear that it will hurt your career. Really? Really. We’re just gonna let that remain the standard?
Look, I think marriage is retarded, outdated and has no place in modern society as the gold standard of relationships. I’m not saying people shouldn’t get married, some people should. I’m saying that I disagree with holding that up as the ultimate standard of love. ESPECIALLY if you love in nontraditional ways, marriage can be really hurtful to the individual.
BUT
Fuck you for taking that away from ANYONE! If two of my best friends who love each other more than anything in the world are told they can’t validate that love the same way a straight couple can, after having legitimately won the right to do so, that folks is bullshit. You know what fucking sucks? Being able to walk down the street ANYWHERE with my boyfriend and holding his hand and also being with two of my best friends who have been in together longer who have to really consider where they are before they can do the same. Fuck you California. Fuck you. I want the people I love to feel safe going out to dinner and being able to do something as simple as holding hands across the table without fear. To be affectionate on the street, to be treated as and thought of as equal. Yes on 8 told the people of California and by extension the nation that it is okay to continue to discriminate against homosexuality, that its okay to target a group of people to make them feel less than. We just won a huge victory. We have a liberal president. We have a black president. We just elected a man, as a nation who gave hope back to this country. We need to hold California to the same standard and right now, I am very dissapointed.
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Thanks Bumps. I hope more people speak out. It was too close. Sad that only about 300,000 people pushed the gap in this decision to discriminate. Many many people came out against ending a civil right, and I thank all who voted No on 8. I could give a shit about marrige, but its nice to know I once had the right. I really hope Britney Spears can marry again, and again, and yet again. With only 16% percent success rate of MAN AND WOMAN marriages, I’m glad you protected the institution that you’ve already fucked up yourself. Let’s pass a prop ending divorce in California.. Lets really protect the shit out of marriage. Cheers.
Bumps it means alot to me to have you say what you said above.
In todays day and age that we are still fighting over things like this I find incredible. People spend too much time telling people what they can and cannot do and what other peoples rights should be. Aren’t there better things to do than hate other people. Two people who love each other should have the same right as other people who love each other. I still want to believe the people who voted yes on 8 are good people just very misguided. They need to see what we are no different than them. Let’s keep working on making this happen and not give up hope.
My mother who is very republican but is very pro gay rights sent me this instant message today…
“I am sorry that the amendement to the Constitution went thru. Don’t they have better things to do? Don’t give up the fight. Little by little things are going to change. You guys and girls have done miracles so far including with people like me who did not know better.”
Simon, what your mom said is completely true. My dad, didn’t understand the gay until he met my highschool friends. Now I don’t know any old man who will get more in your face if you hate on the love between two men or women. This is something that can and will change. Little by little as the community becomes more visibile. This isn’t over but it is an ugly, dissapointing day in the golden state.
Just so we’re clear… I am a Christian, and voted for Obama. I have a ton of friends who I can’t categorize into straight/gay/other buckets. I like it that way. The sad sad thing is that yes, this vote challenges people’s rights to be happy as they see fit.
What really really frustrates me even further is the time, money and energy that went into fighting prop 8 (don’t kill me here-i’ll make a salient point in a second) either for or against. I don’t want the government telling me who I can fall in love with, and I really don’t want hundreds of thousands of people FORCING me to change the way I think. That’s my right. There was millions of dollars that were spent on a stupid argument instead of using that money to take care of kids that can’t read, single parents, people without health care and other charities in need. Personally, marriage is a man and a woman, but that’s ME! I would be remiss to say to anyone “This is what you need to do, go DO IT!”. All I can say is “This is what works for me, this is how I feel” and accept the person for their differences and move on.
I have had, will always have, friends that are not like me, and do not share my views and lifestyle. That is the fundamental key in making life worth living. I will always work to teach my children to accept people that are NOT like them, not saying “That person is wrong because they don’t believe in what we believe in”. That sort of thinking is backwards and harmful. I am sorry kids, it sucks that it passed and I hope that we can all move forward from this with some sort of lesson learned.
NPR actually posed an interesting argument this morning. Or rather, African American callers to NPR posed this, and a few called to back it up.
The idea is that the large number of African American voters that turned out in this election helped to vote in Prop 8. People were saying that within their own families and in the African American community in general there were strong sexual taboos, even including heterosexual oral sex, that people just couldn’t get passed. The few callers who supported this idea said that when they tried to talk to family members or friends people were unable to get passed the “gay sex” portion of the issue. It was also suggested that because of the sex issues behind this, the African American community was largely unable to view Prop 8 as a civil rights issue. The whole thing was very interesting, and a bit depressing.
Obviously it will be some time before anyone can analyze the data and find out exactly what happened. I was mysteriously absent from my voter log, and had to vote provisionally (this seems to have happened to far too many people this election). So I want to know how they can call Prop 8 yet until all the provisional ballads, which the uncounted number of which could possibly sway this decision, are counted. According to the Political Science professor I had last semester, it can’t be called yet.
Still, can’t really blame California for this. If anything it points out the disparity between the population of California as a microcasm of the rest of the US. SF and LA are kind of like the two coastal cities and the Central Valley is kind of like Middle America.
The thing that you have to keep in mind I guess, is that this voter decision against Gay Marriage follows a voter decision by California FOR Gay Marriage. It will come back around, and at some point, hopefully in our lifetime things like this won’t be an issue. I know that saying that doesn’t help the fact that its an issue now and this current situation is a huge bummer.
Oh yeah, and the other thing. Orange County had a 53% voter turnout. I think that this might have been the real problem. Folks in Orange County aren’t so much aware of anything other than their own reality, so rich white kids growing up in Christian homes probably wouldn’t even think to go vote. Sad sad sad
So the irony is… Pro Prop 8 ads were trying to scare people about gay marriage being taught in schools. I have been an elementary school teacher for 10 years and before prop 8, gay marriage has NEVER come up in any classroom that I have been involved in. Prop 8 was actually the catalyst for the first discussion on gay marriage that I have ever had with my students. I am devoted to developing thoughtful students, but completely opposed to impressing my own ideologies on my students, so I promoted a factual discussion without manipulating their points of view.
Chris, I have to challenge your assumptions. These “rich white kids” were actually much more interested in prop 8 than the presidential race. Moreover, while the idea of gay couples did make some kids uncomfortable, overwhelmingly, the kids were in favor of allowing gay couples to have the right to marriage. Remember, these are 10 year olds who largely reflect the viewpoints they are hearing at home.
Today, when we held a follow-up discussion, the students were sad to hear that prop 8 passed and were quite concerned about what to do next so gay people could once again gain the right to marriage. It’s disgusting that prop 8 passed, but I witnessed a true sense of hope today as I saw the next generation of voters confused by the position of amending the constitution to ban gay marriage.
Word gaybeez! Props to everyone who supports no on banning marriage for anyone. Bumps, I know I was drunk and angry last night, but now I’m sober and I’m still angry, I’m still not eating tortillas! Never! Oh no, i’ve said to much!
I Love that their angle of gay marriage being taught in schools totally backfired. Discussions on equality are much more enlightening, then a lesson on gay marriage. Thanks for being a teacher Gaybeez. I was beat up on elementary school playgrounds and I was beat up at the polls yesterday. But I have hope that people will change, and they’ll change by being better educated.
Thank you for posting this Kelly. I loved every word. Sven and I appreciate it so much.
I saw the map statistics, and it confirmed for me what I always knew growing up… San Bernardino county is 70% Bigot.
bumps this post is your rage put to good use. you expressed pretty much exactly what i was feeling. i also cannot believe that in this day when america showed more tolerance than i thought was possible by electing a black man president california goes and turns its back on a large sections of its population and denies basic rights to these individuals. way to take a step back california. to all my gay friends out there you have my full support and love.
When I said Rich White Kids I was referring to the 47% who DID NOT vote, and my assumption that they did not vote because they live in a bubble and they can’t be concerned with things that they feel don’t directly affect them. Sorry if this was unclear. I fully realize that the youth who voted were pretty passionate about Prop 8.
[...] “I never thought I would say this, but FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. Fuck you EVERYONE who voted yes on 8. Who raised you? seriously. Who says, “making people sad? Sure, I’ll vote for that”. FUCK YOU.” (link) [...]
you blame me and…??? My strong Mormon heritage of having multiple wives, hating blacks and killing native Americans? Its about time your homos call the Mormon church and get normal.
http://www.evergreeninternational.org
Pointing fingers get us nowhere. Posting anonymously is lame, when clearly we can tell who you are.
I can’t tell who you are…but I also get distracted by shiney objects.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=44713744618&ref=nf
http://www.mormonsstoleourrights.com
Join the group! Sign the petition! No on 8!
Thanks for posting this… I live in AZ where Prop 102 was passed, which affects me directly. It saddens me to know that I live in a state where I won’t be able to marry the person that I love more than anything in the world. People need to seriously stop and think about what it is that’s really affecting them, because gay marriage doesn’t. Just ridiculous.
Update: Told my Mom that I went to Protest on Prop 8 this morning and she had this to say about the Mormons contribution to Prop 8…
“Yeah really! What were they thinking? Again think of all that good they could have done with that money. Including buying new shirts for they door to door missionaries. One wanted to convert me yesterday at the Walmart parking lot. I told them I was a lesbian. So he said I could always repent and I said “only after I slug you”. It did not go thru very well.”
I love my Mom who is not a Lesbian but is awesome!