my new goal is to have a body type that will allow me to ware winkers
One of my co-workers offered to buy everyone in the office ice cream. YAY Free Ice Cream. This bout of good-will by a person I consider my comrade in jaded embitterment was probably brought on by gaining the approval of his soon to be fiancé’s parents… but I like to think it was an offering to shut another co-co-worker up. We’ll call her Gabby. Gabby has a lot of time on her hands right now and is the kind of girl that incessantly talks about the kind of things that makes me loathe my gender. Today, she discovered something called a treadmill desk and proceeded to research it and update anyone who was listening or even anyone who wasn’t listening about everything she discovered. SO naturally, when free ice cream was offered up – she jumped right on it and even offered to look up the closest place to get it. Behold the result, the most unappetizing place on earth (or at least west of la brea):
Millions of Milkshakes AKA Vomit in a Cup. Granted – I cannot speak to the quality of their milkshakes. I couldn’t get past grotesque website that made my stomach turn. It’s kind of indicative of everything I hate about Hollywood and my industry.
FIRST, Milkshakes are not ICE CREAM. IT’S A FUCKING MILKSHAKE. SECOND, why on earth would I ever want anything in my mouth named after Perez Hilton, any Kardashian or Spencer Pratt? That is the opposite of goodness.
Now I do like free things. It’s true. And I do like Ice Cream. So I tried to find something that sounded appealing, but I kept vomiting in my mouth a little, which I imagine is what a Lindsay Lohan shake must taste like.
I did not end up ordering anything. Others reported that their shakes were too malty.