Were I a cat, I would totally adorn these fashions, but alas I am not a cat – and these fashions are not for people. A gift from heaven.

Entirely inapproiate for work – but fucking hilarious.

Will Arnett Sex Tape

Earlier this month they announced that MTV and FOX are going to remake THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW as a made-for-tv movie. Now, I find out that remakes of ROCK N’ ROLL HIGH SCHOOL and VALLEY GIRL are also in the works. Really.

Who the fuck are making these decisions?

Probably the same people who turned THE BREAKFAST CLUB into a fucking JC Pennys commercial.

TEAM TURBOPRINCE! RE-UNITE AND DOMINATE!
It’s time for the LA SCAVENGER HUNT! AUG 31st!
http://www. fyeahfest. com/index. html

TURBOPRINCE Family Portrait.- eh hem – the second chin is actually the chin of the person’s face I’m photoshopped over – yeah that’s it….

I’m just saying.

Whiskey bottles in mom truck’s bed. Margaritas at the beer garden. Bumps bumping a dude that looked like Brian Setzer. Seeing the most amazing painting of wolf on back of jacket of old dude abducting a boy. Photos of WCKevin and various animal anuses. Smells a plenty. Asking people in line for the Mighty Mighty Bossatones if they were in line for the Pig Races. Yelling expletives at the pigs in pig races and super gay southern young MC ringmastering the races. Feeling sorry for the pigs  named after foods they may someday become. Running in to Tyler from Classix. Riding “Dirty Tarp”.  DIRTY TARP RIDE! Sliding down Euroslide.com. Searching for Art Pavillion. Ended up in “cause pavilion.” Getting information of square dancing lessons. Photos in various stick your head through the hole photo ops. Bumps stuck in a fireman uniform. Brick of curly fries from Juicy’s with bubbling ranch.  Gutter-punks stealing some fried then touching rest of them. Eating them anyway. YUM.  Chocolate dog on a stick really fried tootsie roll. Carnival of products where WC Kevin became the guinea pig for hair removal system. Lady telling Bumps her hand looked old. Planning where we would work if we joined the carnival: Me – Airbrushing things, Bumps – selling hot tubs, WC Kevin – on a ride (DIRTY TARP) where he could scare children. Kitten’s on T-shirts and visors. Obese Young Adult Female dressed like a 4 year old. And finally finding the art pavilion:

A dramatic reading of a real life break-up letter.

Please add volume it’s imporant.

I’m not quite sure how I have never noticed, seen or known about Mes Amis before, especially because if you follow my street until it ends at Vermont you end up on it’s patio, but it is amazing and delicious.

Basically, they bisected the old Hollywood Hills Café (sad that it’s gone) into two restaurants, Mes Amis and Cuba Libre (at least I think that’s what it’s called – wasn’t paying attention). (Damn, I’m a fan of Parentheticals, even when used inappropriately). Atmospherically, it is a Francophiles dream, complete with a patio lit with little lights and an interior that can play host to large parties (rare in Los Feliz).

The menu sports a lot of French classics that I would never touch… Frogs Legs, Escargot, Pate… but surprisingly had a large variety of Vegetarian and Vegan options and probably some of the best Freedom Fries I have ever had. EVER. I had:

Polenta Napoleon
Grilled Polenta Cakes with Layered Goat Cheese
mixed with Tomatoes, Olives, Garlic, Basil, Roasted
Peppers, Balsamic Reduction & Frisée

Holy shit kids, this was amazing. Really fantastically delectable. Anne Lee had the Asperagus Benedict minus the Prosciutto (which of course :

Brioche Toast, White Asparagus, Poached Egg,

Prosciutto Crisp and Truffled Hollandaise

Also equally delicious. There are a bunch of other things I want to try… so I see visits in the future.

As an added bonus… and probably my favorite part… On Thursday Paris Loves L.A’s Adele Jacques and her pianist friend sing classic French Pop songs ala Serge Gainsbourg and France Gall – so if you’re gonna go – go on a Thursday. It’s worth it.

Oh and rumor has it that the Cuban place next door has happy hour, 7 days a week, featuring $3 Mojitos.

I drive by the Henry Fonda every day on my way to work. I read the marquee which usually has some quote to inspire you and sometimes I read the upcoming shows. Usually, there is a combination of shows I don’t care about, fetish balls, awards shows, and shows that I wish I had got my shit together and got tickets to. This morning, I got real excited when I read:

7/ WOLF PARADE

7/ CHROMEO

8/2 MEOW MIX AUDITIONS

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I can’t even begin to fathom the Meow Mix auditions.  It seems like some kind of wonderland … of cats… in a theater… meowing their little hearts out.  I’m also imagining hearts and rainbows and unicorns… but I don’t think that’s likely to happen.  I tried to find out more about it, but just ended up at the Meow Mix website.

It’s AMAZING. My head is about to EXPLODE. I can’t handle it. You know they have games?  Yeah. Games.  Do people really play cat games on the Meow Mix website?  Is it addictive?  I might find out.

ALAS. No news on the auditions.

Another thing I noticed, and this has happened over the past few weeks, is that the Jack Sparrow impersonator is the hardest working impersonators working in front of the Chinese theater.  He takes the early bird gets the worm philosophy to a whole new level.  That makes me wonder about the guy I used to see dressed up as a genie waiting for his ride to work in the morning. I kind of miss that guy.  Maybe faux Jack Sparrow killed him to keep him off the morning beat.  I dunno.

Oh and then I found out sister is planning to get married to her dog-killing ex-boyfriend.

It’s been a wonderful morning so far.

This came across my path and reminded me that the Los Angeles Film Fest is coming up. Who wants to go to screenings with me? I’m going to try and get passes.

to this.

Please enjoy.

I’m going to this:

Before going to CINEMOCA tomorrow.

DANCE PARTY FUN TIME!

Remember when I was old?

http://digitalchemist.com/v8/digi/videos/makeup.mov

If you listen to THIS AMERICAN LIFE you have probably already heard of MORTIFIED. If you don’t listen to THIS AMERICAN LIFE you are a jerkface and should tune into NPR more often, Podcast it, or start watching the show on Showtime.  Mortified is a live show that happens around the country, in different cities, once or twice a month where people get on stage and read from their junior high and high school journals.  And by journals I mean anything “deep”written during that heavy time of life: songs, poetry, notes, stories, etc.  This shit is hilarious. I have yet to get tickets to the show cause it sells out quick. However, there have been two books published:

And:

It struck me while reading the second book that I wrote some pretty atrocious yet hilarious shit when I was about 13 and listening to a lot of the Cure and Depeche Mode.  I’ll bet a lot of my friends did too.  I propose that we find an afternoon to come together and read aloud some of our deepest thoughts and most creative endeavors from that tender age. Hell if you didn’t write anything, bring pictures, videos, drawings, recordings, or any little thing you just couldn’t ditch when you moved out of your parents. Who’s in?