101 reasons why florida sucks- 14 – Dead Christ on a License Plate

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks on April 28th, 2009 @ 2:33 pm

christ_plate1

All I can say is wow. Know we’ll know th car to avoid on the freeway encase a rapture happens. Florida please keep your dead christ off the state license plate.  Oh, and adding an orange behind him was a classy attempt at state relievence. Good job. Thanks Justin for the heads up.

101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks – 13: Firefighters stealing feet.

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks on January 27th, 2009 @ 10:14 pm

u54833_walking_20feet

In Florida a Firefighter was accused of stealing a foot from a crime scene after a car hit a pine tree.

Later the foot was found in the Firefighters freezer…. presumably to use in cadaver dog training that she did outside of her role with the fire department.

Sigh.

Full story: Firefighter accused of swiping foot under arrest

101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks – 12: I’d be in jail or life. NO FARTING ALLOWED.

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks on December 2nd, 2008 @ 3:36 pm

You just can’t fart these days.

STUART, Fla. – A student at a Florida school has been arrested after authorities

said he was “passing gas” and turning off his classmates’ computers. According to a report released

Friday by the Martin County Sheriff’s Office, the 13-year-old boy “continually disrupted his classroom

environment” by intentionally breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were

using.
The Spectrum Junior-Senior High School was arrested Nov. 4.
A school resource officer placed the boy under arrest after he confessed about his behavior, according to the report. He was charged with disruption of school function and released to his mother.

It is hard to comment on something so stupid. Florida, you suck.
Via Smoking Gun

101 Reason Florida Sucks: Reason 11 – Bitch wants her tacos.

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks on September 5th, 2008 @ 4:05 pm

There has been a bit of debate about the quality of the Taco Bell lifestlye on whateves.com before, but in Florida Taco Bell means some serious business to people.   A woman in Florida, who wasn’t Bumps (I checked) , parked her car at a closed Taco Bell at 2:30am and demanded she get some tacos.  Sure she was drunk, but that goes without saying. She had a flat tire and was unfit for tacos. 911 was alerted and she went to jail.

Proof.

101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks: Reason 10 – Man calls 911 for incorrect Subway Sandwich order.

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks on August 5th, 2008 @ 3:24 pm

Man calls 911 for Incorrect sandwich order.

Unsettling, but funny, photo after the jump.

UPDATE: Listen to the 911 too.

continue reading this story —>

101 Reasons WhyFlorida Sucks: Reason 009 – Man Begs For Arrest Then Gets Wish

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks on August 2nd, 2008 @ 1:55 pm

Taken verbatim from TampaBay.com

Peiter Vanvliet desperately wanted to be arrested. Problem was, the 47-year-old hadn’t done anything wrong — until he began harassing authorities and asking them to send him to jail.

According to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office, Vanvliet, of 560 Joe King Road, repeatedly called 911 from a pay phone on Monday night to inform deputies there was a warrant for his arrest and that he would wait for them to come and arrest him.

Yet there was no warrant. Vanvliet wasn’t wanted for any crime — except that his repeated calls prompted deputies to charge him with misuse the 911 system. He was arrested.

Fail Overload.

FAIL

There’s times when I see something and my little junior-college-educated brain just goes into overdrive trying to process how the fuck this was ever a good idea. Water Wheels is one of those moments.

continue reading this story —>

101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks: Reason 008 – Man Masturbated Then Laughed At Us

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks, whateves on June 9th, 2008 @ 7:32 pm

man masturbates in public
I just love this pic and thought it would be more pleasant to picture while reading the story.
I have no idea how this is news. But I think what I love most about this story is the confusion.

According to the North West Daily News”
FORT WALTON BEACH – Police used a laser to measure exactly how far away a suspect was when witnesses said he masturbated and laughed at them.The 44-year-old man is charged with exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor.

Witnesses said he was standing just inside an opened second-story window of a residence on Wright Parkway, holding the organ in his hand and laughing, according to a police report.

When police went into the residence, the man was lying on a bed in the upstairs bedroom and said he was just preparing for a post-shower nap. His hair was not damp, though, police said, and it did not appear that he had recently showered.

The distance between the witnesses’ doorstep and the man’s bedroom window was 80 feet, an officer said after measuring it with a certified laser instrument.

The man later told a detective he was urinating out of his bedroom window.

Full Story

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks, whateves on June 9th, 2008 @ 1:24 pm

101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks: Reason 007 – Fighting Over Mariah Carey Songs

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks, entertainment, music, whateves on May 20th, 2008 @ 11:19 pm

mariah carey song

When you like a band… I mean when you really love a band you take it personally when someone disses or makes fun of them. Now, I’m all for defending your favorite band. However, when that band is Mariah Carry… just accept that your got cough listening to something embarrassing and deal with it. The wrong response is to throw a bottle at someones head.

With that being said, I have been known to rock many Madonna albums. I will also go on the record saying I think she gets better as she gets older, but don’t worry I wont throw a bottle at your head.

Full story: Man Arrested After Fighting W/ Another Man Over Mariah Carey Song

101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks: Reason 006 – Florida to become two states?

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks, whateves on May 7th, 2008 @ 11:40 pm

florida flag

North Lauderdale City Commission is pushing a resolution that would split Florida into two separate states – North and South. Florida doesn’t event want to be associated with Florida.

You can make this stuff up.

101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks: Reason 005 – Vanilla Ice

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks, whateves on May 7th, 2008 @ 10:28 am

131857216_l.jpg

I’ve always been afraid of Vanilla Ice, he looks unstable and over compensates for his lack of being cool, but what he doesn’t understand is, he is from Florida, and thus will never be cool. According to TMZ he recently beat his wife again and threatened suicide while his wife was on the phone with 911.

After the jump, please look at the recent photos of Vanilla and his WIDE OPEN knuckle tattoos.

continue reading this story —>

101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks: Reason 004 – Wizardry

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks, whateves on May 6th, 2008 @ 7:41 am

Wizard!

Its no secret that ol’ Slade Hayes has a Florida birth certificate, a Florida high school diploma and 2 degrees from Florida Universities… Needless to say, the 101 reasons are both the catalyst of why I left, and why its so sad when I come back and visit. I can easily go ahead and write out the remaining 97 reasons of why Florida sucks, but its easier and more fun when the locals do it for me: A substitute teacher got fired for Wizardry. continue reading this story —>

101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks: Reason 003 – Pepper Spray Your Infant Son’s Face

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks, whateves on May 3rd, 2008 @ 12:15 am

florida sucks

A Central Florida man was charged with abuse after he blasted pepper spray into the face of his infant son during an argument over parenting issues.

I can just picture it now…

Mom: “Daummm, Cletus I tolds you for the last time… you can’t be giving the baby Old Milwaukee to drink”!
Dad:  “I can do what I wants woman. I’m the one with the job at the Chat n’ Chew”!
Mom: “Cletus, yous ant so good with Cletus Jr”
Dad: “Thats it… wheres my pepper spray? You’s gunna get it”!
Full story and video. 

101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks: Reason 002 – 7 Year Old Car Thief

Posted by in 101 Reasons Why Florida Sucks, whateves on May 1st, 2008 @ 4:49 pm

Reporter: “Did you know you could possibly kill somebody?”

7 year old: “Yes, but I wanted to do hood rat things with my friend.”

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