This shit is something else!

I don’t know how or why, but I ended up watching America’s Got Talent last night… Holy Crap! Was I ever pleased to find JONATHAN BURKIN the BATON TWIRLER!

Cliches Galore. A Subtext Smorgasbord. I kept rubbing my eyes waiting for a cameo from Andy Samberg, but this shit is fer real!

Jonathan Berkin 

I don’t know what’s better, the emotionally riveting pre-performance bio, the soundtrack, the flames, or the Hoff. I love it all!

P.S. MadEx I wish you got promoted to work on this show. This is your caliber of awesomeness.

Why have a hand with 10 fingers when you can have an arm with one giant thumb?

 

for those of you who follow tech stuff and have an iphone probably know about the “i am rich” app. for those of you that dont here is a little bit of backstory. Last month the iphone opened its app store and started selling additonal apps to be downloaded to the phone. most apps sell for between .99 cents and 10 dollars with the maximum price going all the way up to $999.99. Then someone comes along and creates an app called “I am rich”.  the app cost the maximum $999.99 and its sole purpose is to let people know you can afford it.  you push the button on your screen and it just displays “graphic art”.  a poorley rendered image of a red jewl is displayed on your screen.  Thats it no more no less.  the discreption on the site states that that is all it does and there are no hidden features and what you see is what you get.  its a pure status symbol.  well a few pople actually bouth the app (i think 8 total) and some say the bought it by accident. enough people complained and apple pulled the app from the store.  the interesting thing about this is it places an artificial value on something that should for no other reason be free.  by saying someing is art dose it create an intrinsic value to it?  dose a name on a brand add value to an otherwise ordinary object?  in someway this reminds me of work of mathew barney who makes abstrcat sometimes creepy films wich can been seen easily but sells the origonal disks for hundreds of thousands of dollars.  there are tons of other examples of “fine art” artificially over priced just do to artist recognition. most people would call this a scam but if some one is willing to pay money for something does it not have the value that the free market is willing to spend?  

well i decided to make a cheep chinatown rolex knock off version of the i am rich app.  this is the almost as good slightly less quality web app version complete with home screen icon. just go here (on an iphone) to see the beautiful glowing red jewel and click the plus button and select the add to home screen button to get quick and easy access image.  impress your friends with your almost as good as the reel thing version of the $999.99 iphone application.

http://whateves.com/iamrich

story from the la times

While we’ve seen the Kurt Cobain shoe disaster, and Simon posted about bastard Elvis discount shoes, and we’ve known about the back to the future shoe release for sometime now, it actually just came out.

But we haven’t seen this far a stretch in adult footwear from 80’s child movies before. Sure this sorta hack shit comes out at Payless Shoesource for infants when a film is released, I’m sure you can get your 3 year old some kick ass Dark Knight sneakers right now, but in 25 years for adults that shouldn’t be the case. I’m talking about Puma’s Goonies Shoes.

Look at this culture abortion. More pics after the jump.

(more…)

Another Winner! A dolphin smoking a bong in a lay-z-boy. Why didn’t I think of that! <br><br>

Click the images above to be completly shocked , stoked, amazed, inspired bummed.

Is it time we started a tattoo catagory?

Fun with Superglue and flip flops

This could be the best tattoo ever. I present Patrick Swazey from an SNL Chip N Dales skit… But as a centaur.

You could also file this under Idiocracy. I submitted an email to be an contestant. I told them I’m sorta authentic. I really hope they pick me. You should submit one too. Here is the show encase you are missing it.

wipeoutcasting@gmail.com

Please include your name, address, occupation, contact phone numbers, email addresses, a recent photograph of yourself, and a brief summary of why you’re the perfect candidate for this show.

This sculpture needs to be put near the lesbian biker throwing a dagger sculpture ASAP.

In other REAL news a paster in Indiana (not Florida) tried to show the concept of unity by crashing his motorcycle off a 5 foot ramp into the first 5 empty rows of seats inside the holy worship center. What the fuck church is this? So I guess he didn’t have the hand of god helping him with his Unity with his bike and ramp. So, did this prove to the church goers there is no god?
Full story here.

There’s times when I see something and my little junior-college-educated brain just goes into overdrive trying to process how the fuck this was ever a good idea. Water Wheels is one of those moments.

(more…)

The Los Angeles Galaxy beat The Colorado Rapids 3-2 on Saturday night but more importantly bacon wrapped hot dogs are BACK! I guess they were removed from the menu this season and people were upset. I’ll have to be honest… I never even knew they were gone.

But I had to laugh when I saw that the returning hot dog made the news on the Galaxy website.

I’ve seen idiocracy at least 20 times or more, but never ever have I watched the credits. This happens after the credtis, and I can’t stop laughing. For those of you who haven’t seen the film, Mya Rudolph plays a hooker who gets frozen and awakes 500 years in the future, where she is still terrified that her Pimp Upgraydd will come find her to get his money.

And after the credits, it looks like he does. I love that I found something new to love about this movie, after all the times i’ve watched it.

A show called FOX Sports Investigates, breaks down different kinds of sports and sport movements. They usually shows the movement of the athletes in slow motion. I guess they ran out of topics to cover b/c last November they ran a show around what scientifically happens when you get hit in the groin. Question: who volunteers for this?