Another Winner! A dolphin smoking a bong in a lay-z-boy. Why didn’t I think of that! <br><br>
This past weekend the wife was out of town with the girls. That really means one thing: I eat like total shit. Usually I eat fruit, some chicken, vegetables, soda, some crackers, more fruit and some more soda. Somewhere there’s some cheese in the mix too.
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I am so nerdy. I have started down the path of the most dorkified hobby ever - RC Helicopters. Far more geeky than planes, less geeky than robots and less glamorous than battlebots, the RC Heli is not for the faint of heart. They can kill you, are incredibly hard to fly and need constant maintenance and take years to master. But, its better than golf, and less pretentious than tennis, which is my other alternative out here in suburbia.
Dorktastic RC Helicopter Flying:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np5XSTwv4vA
I love my house (even if I have skunks living in my yard), my neighborhood and my city. But what I don’t like about my the 3 above mention places is how my white trash neighbor mad dogs me when I walk to my car, walk my dog or drive by.
We all know your a bad ass… we get it, trust me we are all constantly reminded of it. As if the blaring Avange Sevenfold at 3am as you come home, the over sized “Skin Industries” sticker on your raised truck and fighting people wasn’t enough. We all turn a blind eye to the trash that you leave in the street when cleaning out your car or how you park your car on your lawn or how you drink beer in a wife beater and boxers sitting in a plastic chair in the drive way. And I’m really not looking forward to your backyard firework show. Last year not only were fireworks shot over my house they were shot across my yard exploding chest high off the ground.
So back to the original story. I’m walking to my car this afternoon and he’s standing at the end of his driveway smoking a cig, wearing pressed Ben Davis from head to toe (so cliché) and just staring at me. His 19 or 20 year old girlfriend is walking waddling down the sidewalk in a tank top and boxers and trying to balance a baby in a car seat while talking on a cell phone. Behind her is another baby running around (again next to the street). The entire time hes just smoking… I guess showing the neighbors who boss takes precedence over helping your bitch and kids into the car safely.
The sliver lining to this story is that they are renting and I just found out this week that they are moving out soon! I plan on throwing a White Trash Party with plenty of Pabst Blue Ribbon, beans and hot dogs. All food will be eating while playing the latest NASCAR race on the TV.
Damn you, internet. I am just sitting here eating my lunch, about to head out for the weekend, and here you have me writing about some foolish story of a town getting flooded with ranch dressing. Can’t you leave me alone today? Isn’t it enough that I cuddle close to you in times of loneliness and depression? I look to you when I am scared, curious, angry, amarous and in need of the name of the girl who played Jason Bateman’s sister on “Its Your Move” (Tricia Cast), can’t you just let me go home? I promise that I will check my iPhone a multitude of times on the way back to the house, where the 3 Macs that live there are all connected to your life giving teet at a blazing 15mpbs, but for now just let me go enjoy these potato chips and a quiet afternoon with this new issue of Jet magazine I just mistakenly recived in my mailbox.
Its summertime here in the office, and there’s been some recent developments I’d like to share… (more…)
So yeah… Gas prices suck… It’s nuts! But there’s a silver lining depending on how you look at it.
Just read this… Consider:
Consider the world of good that would come of pricing crude oil and gasoline at levels that would strain our finances as much as they’re straining international relations and the planet’s long-term health:
1. RIP for the internal-combustion engine
They may contain computer chips, but the power source for today’s cars is little different than that which drove the first Model T 100 years ago. That we’re still harnessed to this antiquated technology is testament to Big Oil’s influence in Washington and success in squelching advances in fuel efficiency and alternative energy.
Given our achievement in getting a giant mainframe’s computing power into a handheld device in just a few decades, we should be able to do likewise with these dirty, little rolling power plants that served us well but are overdue for the scrap heap of history.
2. Economic stimulus
Necessity being the mother of invention, $8 gas would trigger all manner of investment sure to lead to groundbreaking advances. Job creation wouldn’t be limited to research labs; it would rapidly spill over into lucrative manufacturing jobs that could help restore America’s industrial base and make us a world leader in a critical realm.
The most groundbreaking discoveries might still be 25 or more years off, but we won’t see massive public and corporate funding of research initiatives until escalating oil costs threaten our national security and global stability — a time that’s fast approaching.
3. Wither the Middle East’s clout
This region that’s contributed little to modern civilization exercises inordinate sway over the world because of its one significant contribution — crude extraction. Aside from ensuring Israel’s security, the U.S. would have virtually no strategic or business interest in this volatile, desolate region were it not for oil — and its radical element wouldn’t be able to demonize us as the exploiters of its people.
In the near term, breaking our dependence on Middle Eastern oil may well require the acceptance of drilling in the Alaskan wilderness — with the understanding that costly environmental protections could easily be built into the price of $8 gas.
4. Deflating oil potentates
On a similar note, Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez and Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad recently gained a platform on the world stage because of their nations’ sudden oil wealth. Without it, they would face the difficult task of building fair and just economies and societies on some other basis.
How far would their message resonate — and how long would they even stay in power — if they were unable to buy off the temporary allegiance of their people with vast oil revenues?
5. Mass-transit development
Anyone accustomed to taking mass transit to work knows the joy of a car-free commute. Yet there have been few major additions or improvements to our mass-transit systems in the last 30 years because cheap gas kept us in our cars.
Confronted with $8 gas, millions of Americans would board buses, trains, ferries and bicycles and minimize the pollution, congestion and anxiety spawned by rush-hour traffic jams. More convenient routes and scheduling would accomplish that
6. An antidote to sprawl
The recent housing boom sparked further development of antiseptic, strip-mall communities in distant outlying areas. Making 100-mile-plus roundtrip commutes costlier will spur construction of more space-efficient housing closer to city centers, including cluster developments to accommodate the millions of baby boomers who will no longer need their big empty-nest suburban homes.
Sure, there’s plenty of land left to develop across our fruited plains, but building more housing around city and town centers will enhance the sense of community lacking in cookie-cutter developments slapped up in the hinterlands.
7. Restoration of financial discipline
Far too many Americans live beyond their means and nowhere is that more apparent than with our car payments. Enabled by eager lenders, many middle-income families carry two monthly payments of $400 or more on $20,000-plus vehicles that consume upwards of $15,000 of their annual take-home pay factoring in insurance, maintenance and gas.
The sting of forking over $100 per fill-up would force all of us to look hard at how much of our precious income we blow on a transport vehicle that sits idle most of the time, and spur demand for the less-costly and more fuel-efficient small sedans and hatchbacks that Europeans have been driving for decades.
8. Easing global tensions
Unfortunately, we human beings aren’t so far evolved that we won’t resort to annihilating each other over energy resources. The existence of weapons of mass destruction aside, the present Iraq War could be the first of many sparked by competition for oil supplies.
Steep prices will not only chill demand in the U.S., they will more importantly slow China and India’s headlong rush to make the same mistakes we did in rapidly industrializing — like selling $2,500 Tata cars to countless millions of Indians with little concern for the environmental consequences. If we succeed in developing viable energy alternatives, they could be a key export in helping us improve our balance of trade with consumer-goods producers.
Additional considerations
Weaning ourselves off crude will hopefully be the crowning achievement that marks the progress of humankind in the 21st Century. With it may come development of oil-free products to replace the chemicals, pharmaceuticals, plastics, fertilizers and pesticides that now consume 16% of the world’s crude-oil output and are likely culprits in fast-rising cancer rates.
By its very definition, oil is crude. It’s time we develop more refined energy sources and that will not happen without a cost-driven shift in demand.
I love taking my car to get it washed. I love my car, and if it wasn’t for the fact that we can’t wash our cars here ourselves (drought) I would be doing it my own self. The bigger thing is I love going to the car wash to get re-acclimated to the stereotypes within my area. They have wifi, and I am bored, so I may as well blog what’s going on here…
For all you Coffee Bean drinking, Audi A4 driving, Sliver Lake living, iPhone toting hipsters who are going to upgrade this summer to the 3G iPhone; make sure you completely erase your data. You don’t want those numbers you grabbed from The Standard last summer to land in the wrong hands! Corbra Commander is watching.
p.s my rage comes from my Florida up bringing, take that whateves! Grrrr!
Tonight in Long Beach its hot. I have my doors open enjoying a breeze and trying to cool off. This was rudely interrupted by the smell of my annoying skunk. He’s back and with a vengeance! He finally stopped coming around in the winter, I think he went to the park to hibernate, until tonight… people I’m at my wits end, I can’t take another summer of this smelly animal digging up my yard and spraying his stink everywhere.
If the readers of whateves have any ideas how I can rid my yard of this skunk please please comment with detailed instructions. I will document the process no matter how crazy or elaborate the idea is. My only rule is it must be humane. I don’t want to kill it, just want him to live somewhere else. I need to do this fast before they decide to have babies.
If you would like to read my past pathetic posts on this subject read them here, otherwise I should see a bunch of ideas in the comments field.
For those of you driving to SxSw keep an eye out for falling families off the freeway overpasses.
Crazyness or just good old fashion natural selection in motion?
I am not a deadbeat. I pay my shit on time. (more…)
At 2:27 Tori AMOS regulates against Jelena Jensen and Aria Giovanni making them leave the show.
Jelena is a friend of mine, she posted this the night after the concert and before this surfaced on youtube:
So tonight I was literally sitting front and center at the Tori Amos concert in San Diego…and she PERSONALLY stopped mid-song to tell me to “get the fuck out”…can you believe that? all i was doing was telling my friend who went to the restroom that i couldn’t believe she missed her favorite song by Tori…”Leather”…and that it was AMAZING…and Tori had the fucking DIVA audacity to stop her song and tell me to leave just because I was talking about how amazing her live rendition was…
wow…i’ve totally lost all respect for her…as an artist how can you expect your fans to not talk to each other in the audience about how much you’re enjoying the show?
so yeah…i was totally escorted out of the auditorium…as was my friend who was with me…i guess because supposedly the front row is “a privilege,” as Tori so blatantly put it…
so sad for her that she felt the need to do that to a longtime fan…afterall, all I was doing was speaking highly of her…didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to speak to my friend about how much I as enjoying the show…guess my first amendment rights were taken away at the door…
though i must admit…i’ve been laughing all night about it…makes for a great story…Tori Amos personally stopped her entire show to tell me to “get the fuck out”…HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHA
so we went and drank it up and had a dandy time…
xo…
These Two were kicked out.
http://www.myspace.com/jelenajensen
Seriously, this guy plays soccer?
I haven’t seen balls that round since the 25 cent bouncy ball machine at the grocery store.
