Mr. T On FOX NEWS

Does anybody think the phrase “get some nuts” refers just to peanuts and not testicles?

I know that Mr. T is down, He played a bearded lady in an awesome movie called Freaked.

He pretend it’s not offensive. I say the re-shoot it and he can shoot candy bars at mexicans George Bush.

Whereeves

Here is a possibility of something to do tonight….RSVP just incase….

Dress Right

Check out the Kurt Cobain shoes from Converse. They are apart of Converses Specia Collection, the collection consists of Chuck Taylor All Stars, Jack Purcell’s and One Stars. All inspired by Kurt Cobain. The only decent pair in the collection are the plain signature ones. They look warn and… grungy (sorry for the pun I couldn’t resist). Other shoes have drawings and lyrics written over the shoes.

After all is said and done the concept of the shoes sucks, but in my opinion its not as bastardized as bad as the Goonies pair. At least they kept true/classic Converse shoes and added a Kurt Cobain edge to them. It’s hard adding anything to a classic, the reason why we love them is b/c they are simple. When you start adding a bunch of thing to a simple shoe is becomes something else… IE snowboard binding on the Goonies shoes.

I will go on the record by saying that when I was a kid (as still today) I don’t like wearing new shoes. I hate how new Chuck Taylors look so bright, fresh and clean… I would walk around trying to scuff them up a bit. I think this signature pair could be cool… sans the signature.

Kurt Cobain Converse are now available at Journey’s footwear retail chain.

More pictures after the jump.

I had to upload this footage I received from a coworker of a coworker. I wanted to share my love of Walle on the Youtube nation.

The lucky bastard captured this footage while he stumbled upon him at the E building on Wilshire Blvd in Los Angeles.

Trailer

Darby Crash gets his own Bio-picture. I’m curious about it, anyone else?

Everything about this is wrong, which makes it so right. Bravo Fox Reality Channel, way to lower the bar.

They also failed by making this poor dude turn and point out something on a screen, this shot lasted longer then it needed to, and this poor dude unknowingly was flashing his “Lobot” to everyone in tvland.

Sorry son, can’t afford college anymore, but wanna go for a ride?

The government is trying to kill us with rainbows.

Here’s my story. I have an encyclopedia Britannica’s worth of these moments over the last 3 years that I would like to share. Also, because once someone shit in my shower and you should care.

This morning while concocting some truly awful protein shake while in my underwear with my finger on the pulse setting of the blender, staring down at my new collection of hives that make clothing nearly impossible, I realized that, as I stated above, I was blending semi-nude without inhibition. Here’s why this is awesome…

I once shared a kitchen with a beast that I found on craigslist. Beast found maggots in beast’s ‘very old laundry.’ That’s verbatim, I can’t make this shit up. Side note: Does laundry have age? Does it expire? Moving on, the beast chose to pile all maggoty laundry onto the kitchen floor. I am not, nor is beast a Rockafeller, so needless to say, the kitchen was tiny and also used frequently by us and therefore there was no room for ‘old’ or ‘new/young’ laundry. Maggots catch my gag reflex, especially around my foods. I could no longer use the kitchen. Beast did not care because beast ate only tubs of rice pudding that were opened and finished in one sitting. Not only could I never use the kitchen again, I felt compelled to be dressed from head to toe at all times. Not that I would have sashayed into the kitchen nude with beast around, but I might have risked barefoot. I ceased to be able to take showers at this residence. Beast constantly took dumps and made that area uninhabitable anyway. Eventually I moved…

Fast forward to this morning….blending in my underwear and barefoot. Not a maggot is sight, just a disgruntled French turtle and a whole lot of booze. Despite my hives and horrible protein shake of a breakfast, life just keeps getting better.

Look for future installments of ‘Life: It just keeps getting better’

But we haven’t seen this far a stretch in adult footwear from 80’s child movies before. Sure this sorta hack shit comes out at Payless Shoesource for infants when a film is released, I’m sure you can get your 3 year old some kick ass Dark Knight sneakers right now, but in 25 years for adults that shouldn’t be the case. I’m talking about Puma’s Goonies Shoes.

Look at this culture abortion. More pics after the jump.

Who is going to buy these? This is the most chopped up looking, piece of crap I’ve ever seen.

Awesome burlap pull ups. How cute they incoprated the cartoon logo of Sloth and the kids with Data, Oh Data running over cause he’s always late.

One eye willie on the inside heel, that’ll be rubbed off in one wearing.

It looks to me that there are no shoelaces, and the DISC BLAZE part of these shoes is like snowboard bindings.

Oh, and it comes with a barf bag.

Are we cannibalizing ourselves? Are we out of idea’s in our brainstorming meetings? Are we cashing in on the idea that its never too late to have a good childhood? We are doing a disservice to the future generations by re feeding them our nostalgia and soon we’ll have a MAD COW CULTURAL SOCIETY DISASTER.

I say, send these up Troy’s Bucket.

Past Goonies Rants

But now there is a new chapter. Seems that the adventurous one has again jumped, this time its unclear how he was able to force he way out of the tank, but with his skill and intellect, he was able to do it. While I’ve looked all over the backyard for him, I’m 100% sure he didn’t splat and die. He’s taken off to college, or gone for a pilgrimage to bask in the echo park lake. The saddest part is seeing the last lonely turtle swimming around looking for the missing mate. I’m pretty sure the turtle that bailed was Perry, Perry was the small shy turtle at first compared to the brute dyke lesbian turtle that Shakranda was. But once I started feeding them fish, Perry really took to it more so then Shakranda and grew out of his feeble state and really put Shakranda in her place. So, good luck to you Perry, I hope you find what you’re looking for. You were loved.

Here’s a look back at them two years ago.

I found this really cool Nintendo graphic while researching wall decals for my new “open office area”. My work just finished renovating a floor in our building and is moving the creative dept to this new area. It look like cubical land to me, but that will be in another rant coming soon.

This Nintendo inspired wall graphic comes in 2 sets: Mario Brothers and Donkey Kong. Although this is not quite what I had in mind for my work area I still think this is cool. If I had this when I was a kid my bedroom wall would definitely be the best on the block.

The decals are made by Blik and are really easy to install. I actually have the Space Invader decals on my glass window at home, they are really fun.

On the site you can also choose from a whole variety of designers with all different types of personalities and colors. This is a really easy way to bring a lot of personality and uniqueness to your living or work space with fairly minimal effort. I just wish it was easier to create a custom wall graphic.

I came across this clip today and realized that Android Cooper really is human, and a funny one too. With is dead pan CNN news show, (which I see constantly cause my obsessed roommate watches him daily and comments on his biceps) he is at the forefront of news, on the front lines of war, in a rain storm, doing presidential debates, at the mac counter at Nordstrom’s, but he doesn’t really inject any of his personality into it. He more or less is zapped to ask the questions Ted Turner wants to know. So I almost forgot that he used to pal around with Red head tranny comedian Kathy (I’m crying on the outside) Griffin and talk about only wearing Prada. In this clip of him co-hosting LIVE…. he takes the Lohan’s through the mud and gives THE SOUP a shout out, sadly he only says, “THE GUY ON THE SOUP” and not, “The incredibly talented Joel Mchale of The Soup says…”

dana 58:30
58:33 someone is listening to the red hot chili peppers out loud
58:41 i have to put on headphones
59:14 and new RHCP to boot
59:40 i whispered to my neighbor over the cube wall, “i hate the red hot chili peppers”
59:58 and he whispered back, “it’s not me,” apologetically
00:16 and i returned, “i know, but it makes me feel better to tell someone”
00:28 and then i put on my headphones

Unsettling, but funny, photo after the jump.

UPDATE: Listen to the 911 too.

Listen to the 911 call

“The sandwich artists put mayo on mustard on it, but no sauce.” That put this one dude over the edge and he called 911 to complain. What other place on earth would someone think that they can call 911 to settle a dispute over a shitty sandwich? I can understand if he called 911 ’cause the workers there didn’t let him get a swig off the Keg in back.

L-Train vs.
Get Yer Rocks Off! Presents

THE BLOOD ARM
with
THE MUSLIMS
THE WALLBIRDS
THE FRANKS

Wednesday, August 6th 2008.

9pm till late
@ The Echo.

I’m a fan of anyone who creates something based on smooshed, trampled, guts splashed and splattered dead animal bodies. I’m also a fan of anyone who has models wearing furry heads down the runway making it a much more pleasurable viewing experience. This designer should be on Project Runway!

This past weekend the wife was out of town with the girls. That really means one thing: I eat like total shit. Usually I eat fruit, some chicken, vegetables, soda, some crackers, more fruit and some more soda. Somewhere there’s some cheese in the mix too.

The wife and the girls don’t encourage the fast food. I, of course being male, and slow to see the path of destruction it leads me down, love the fast food. Taco Bell has always been there for me, through thick and thin. Its been there on every road trip, its greeted me with open arms on a bright SoCal morning when I felt adventurous and ate Taco Bell breakfast. But not eating it for about a year and then being able to get it whenever I wanted for the better part of a week made me realize something: TaCo Bell sucks ass. It doesn’t suck more than it used to, its always the shoddy quality its been, but what really stands out is that they just make new shit out of the old parts and pass it off as something new. Its much like a taco version of GM. Sure, it says Cadillac, but really its a bunch of Chevy Aveo parts glued together and painted some shiny new Cadillac-only color. There are staples of the menu that need to stay there: the taco supreme, the bean burrito, the chips with the mystery nacho sauce, all of the nacho platters, the cinnamon twists, and the mexican pizza, but as far as I am concerned, it needs to end there. I don’t see the need to have a hex-shaped-flying-saucer-tacoesque item, ever.

Lets look at the menu and see what we find…

Tacos: They have 8 tacos. Seriously? 8? You need 2 - chicken or beef.

Burritos: 9 burritos. Van Damme! Why? And one of these nasto creations has POTATOES on it. Gross. Tater tots do not belong on a burrito. Ever. Removed.

Gorditas: Gorditas are just stupid. Its like a damn pita, but not a pita. GONE.

Chalupas: Chalupas are a waste too. They’re just a FRIED Gordita. Cut.

Other: Umm…they have Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes, which are just tater tots and nacho cheese sauce. For real? I bet the dudes that work there have a running bet each week to see what loser is going to order the these. They prolly make like 3 a year. Sacked.

Specialties: They make taquitos, the HexiTaco™, Taco Salad, and some other bullshit they call “Specialties” The only one that needs to stay is the Mexican Pizza. Its the proper mix of food items, poorly-adopted cross cultural references and cheese. It stays.

Quesadillas: My almost 3 year old won’t eat these, and she will eat plastic left over from model kits she has me build. Out.

Bowls: “A bowl filled with seasoned rice, hearty beans, chicken, lettuce, three cheeses, crunchy red strips, Fiesta Salsa, and Zesty dressing on the side.” Fucking “Crunchy Red Strips”!!!! These could easily be shoelaces for all we know. HA HA HA HA WRONG! NO! OUT!

The other item that stays is the pintos and cheese, because homeless people tend to like to get these (no lie) and they need a cheap fix too.

They seem to also have a “Fresco Menu” which is way too much for me to even get into right now.

Here’s how we fix Taco Bell: we take 1/3 and just close them, forever. Then we take the remaining 2/3 and then turn 1/4 of them into Chipotles. Take another 1/4 and turn those into Wahoo’s. Then take the remaining 16% and strip off everything on the menu but tacos, a bean burrito, the mexican pizza, some nachos and the ice cream taco (so stupid it works) and then only put those outlets in Airports, Bus Depots, Home Depots, Wal-Marts and in a series of mobile 18-Wheeler trucks that just cruise around looking for groups kids on skateboards (no dis on skaters, you just have to do something that the suits will understand) and stoners. These would primarily be driving around areas of the Inland Empire, Gainesville Florida, Appalachia, Widespread Panic shows, Mission Beach, Santa Barbara and Little 5 Points in Atlanta. I also would open up some sort of mail order frozen Taco Bell business, which would target Worlds of Warcraft players, old people, comic book store employees and the mobile home owners who have gotten computers from Blue Hippo. I am certain that within minutes of posting this I will get a call from the CEO of Yum Brands and these changes will be made within a matter of weeks. Thank you and good night.

This weekend while driving from Los Angeles to Orange County to Bump’s waterslide bounce house from heaven birthday party the London Beat, I’ve got you on my mind song came on my iPod. There is this part in the song at the end of the course that says, “Sha Pow Pow.” Therealsimon and patBenatard couldn’t stop saying it over and over, and quickly its became the new slogan for our new edition of Slug Bug, only this time, its for yellow cars, shitty “LOOK AT ME” yellow cars. Transportation like taxi’s and buses don’t count. So, now, if your in my car, and I see a yellow car you’re getting a punch while I Scream, Sha Pow Pow. I hope the trend catches on. Seriously, Yellow cars are butt. What do you think people are thinking when they buy a yellow car?

The Disney channel is giving the Muppets a play date with its tween small screen stars on Studio DC: Almost Live. It premiered Sunday and I forgot to announce it. But, its cable, they’ll rerun it all week. Anyone see it?

Even if it sucks, they got a really good youtube channel going with new material that hold up to the classic shows. Youtube.

A good friend of mine named Maggie is beautiful and full of laughs. She’s currently living on the right coast has a pretty random blog of her own that she does with 2 other girls. It came to my attention today when she told me to check it out.  While taking breaks for being awesome, she takes to the internet to be awesome there too. Here are a few posts worth checking out.  Put them in your google reader.

Abe Lincoln

HVP is Okay with us

My little Pony Marathon

Pressbodypress

This true story about a 70’s bank heist in London, Directed by visionary snore Rodger Donaldson, fails. When the film is over, the only think you can say is, well, its sorta cool that really happened. This film set in the 70’s has nothing grounding it in the 70’s except the wardrobe. The film style is half way between an episode of CSI and The Bourne series. Wall to wall distracting music, character disconnect, you really give a hoot about anyone involved, and these were real people once. When this poster came out, I was ready to see this film. A bold poster, a throw back to the 70’s film poster style. I was hoping the film would be a throw back as well, grainy film stock, perhaps a long zoom, a rip off of The Conversation or Dirty Hairy god willing, but no. I was really disappointed. But the marking team should be rewarded for boldly pointing me in the wrong direction. Its sad cause while watching it, you could tell this could have been shaped into a really great film, they just second guest themselves and made a 70’s movie for a modern CSI audience.

1 Madex out of 5.

It gets 1 because it had way more boobs then Eyes Wide Shut.

A video by Romanywg showsBanksys latest street work on the Essex Road, London N1. The spot was filmed for 1 hour on 6th March 2008. Looks like this could be the new tourist stop in London.

Needless to say… Everyone knows who Banskey is.